Illinois…the land of Lincoln; a man who was a great
republican president and who became an icon of American political history, and deservedly
so. Today his home state held their presidential primary and the rattling sound you hear in the background is Abe
spinning in his grave as he witnesses the odious quartet of candidates still
flogging each other mercilessly and grabbing each other by the back of the
pants, trying hopelessly to get an advantage, only to have someone else grab
theirs and do the same. “Doctor Fine,
Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine…”
Here where it’s 8:00 PM on the West Coast, it appears that
Mitt Romney has been able to re-calibrate his “Inevitability Express” and lurch
forward again claiming that he and only he will win the nomination and be the
one to smite the Awful Negro. He’s
probably right, about the first part anyway, in as much as none of the other
three maroons still running against him has the slightest chance of winning
except if Earth spins out of orbit and careens into the sun. And then of course their triumph will be
short lived.
No, it does look like
neatly dressed, milquetoast, verbally challenged and utterly vapid Mitt will be
the winner. Or, he’ll at least have the
most delegates when the eyes of a bored, sweaty and dispirited nation turn to
Tampa in August. Tonight his support,
as always, came from the wealthiest, most educated and mostly moderate part of
the republican stew, and – of course – the whitest. These are voters who are convinced he is the
one who will best represent their interests as president and who don’t really
give a damn about whether or not Mommy’s on the pill or that Billy, next door,
has a boy friend. They’ve got money and
the want to keep it and Mitt’s the only one they can trust.
Chubby Napoleon, Newt Gingrich, panting like a pug in a long
distance race, is barely staying alive but like a half-mad Doberman, he’s still
dangerous – to himself and others. I had
to laugh at his overwrought reaction to a comment Robert DiNiro made at an
Obama fund raiser recently – something to the effect of, “Is the country really
ready for a white first lady? I don’t
think so; too soon, too soon…” DiNiro
can be mildly funny but a clever comedian he’s not and he probably had a
couple of cocktails so who knows what the hell he was thinking. But
Newt seized on this lame attempt at a joke and blew it up into Brown v. the
Board of Education, yammering on about how this type of comment reveal
that liberals are trying to divide this great nation and was repugnant and unacceptable
and calling on Obama to apologize. I
swear to God, he said all that; or words to that effect. Gingrich apparently wouldn’t recognize irony
if it fell off a ten story building and hit him on the head.
This is the guy who practically invented racial code,
incorporating it into his stump speeches and bloviating about Obama being the “food
stamp” president and having a “Kenyan, anti-colonial viewpoint”. Newt is still trying to attract chicks by
using obtuse imagery that they don’t understand. This is a guy who has only done middling well
in the heart of Dixie and who’s support has been reduced to that crazy ass guy
who has the elaborate HO train set out in his shed, running under a full size
reproduction of the Confederate battle flag.
He’s accusing DiNiro of causing racial divisiveness – that’s
hilarious. Of course, Bobby D is part of
the mythical liberal Hollywood elite that conservatives love to hate as long as it
not Chuck Norris or some other closet fascist.
Newt, it’s embarrassing…your unfavorable rating in your own party
is approaching 30%. Go home…
Which brings me to Rick “Saintly” Sanitarium, Mitt’s closest
pursuer. Unlike Mitt, Rick’s a man of
the people; his support comes from a sliver of the party that is less educated,
less wealthy, less moderate, but just as white – maybe whiter. And they’re a damn sight more religious…or
delusional; whatever. Yesterday Rick
came right out and admitted that he didn’t think the campaign was about the
economy anymore; it was about re-establishing our freedom as Americans and
preventing the Obam-unists from tuning us all into caged gerbils. You know – those little bastards run around
and around, accomplishing nothing, and only stopping to eat and have sex. Heck, throw in some porn and some liquor and
he could be describing many of his own supporters. But the problem with Rick is, his idea of
freedom is very different from mine – and probably yours. For Rick it’s a perilously short distance
from freedom to license to sin to a fiery fate in the depths of hell. Freedom is narrowly defined and decidedly
biblical and his damn vest it too tight for him to see that it’s his
squinty-eyed vision of freedom that scares the shit out of anyone who had a
normal human impulse any time in the last 10 years.
On top of his apparent deep seated fear of women and sex and
not necessarily in that order, his obsession with Iran and Syria and protecting
the baby Jesus’ replica manger is even scarier.
At a time when Iran is nothing more than a working hive of honey bees
compared to the seething, angry hornets’ nest that is our erstwhile ally,
Pakistan – and Rick, they already have nukes, in case you fell asleep that day –
he and the rest of the chicken hawk wing of the party continue to give closet
sleeve jobs to big oil companies desperate to find someplace where they can
drill for more of the filthy stuff, promising to kick Amadinijhad’s ass if
given half a chance. If it takes a mini-Armageddon, so be it, what
the hell. Rick, go home with Newt…
And of course those crazy mischief makers in congress – led by
John Boner – are busy proposing every kind of repulsive and regressive
legislation they can think of to try to get the democrats to take their eye off
the ball or to slip something by them – the old legislative sleight of
hand. Got a transportation bill? Throw in some abortion language. How about another cockamamie tax cut for the
rich while we yank medicare benefits from Auntie Em? Brilliant!
We can pretend we’re destroying Medicare in order to save it! Poor Boner – this sad-eyed son of a bitch is
probably praying for November so he can go home to Ohio. Every time he tries to cut any kind of a deal
with Obama or the democrats the tea party rabble light the torches and egg his
house. He trotted out poster-boy Paul
Ryan today with their half-assed budget – the details were “to follow” so
nobody really knows what they’re talking about.
But all I had to hear was they want to cut the top tax rate from 35% to
25% and cancel Obama’s cuts to the defense budget. This is bald-faced sucking up to their patrons
and a defense industry that treats war like a crazed George Patton – “God help
me; I do love it so…” They have nothing; their arguments have become
fatuous laugh tracks and they are out of ideas.
This is fundamentally why Romney isn’t exciting anyone. 40% of republican voters have misgivings about
the person they voted for; never mind the other guy.
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