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Monday, December 17, 2012

Institutional Stupidity and the Rise of the American Asshole


Institutional stupidity is the tendency for organizations to compartmentalize functions such that no one person or group is fully in control of the output of the organization nor does any one person or group completely understand how the organization works.  Instead each of these parts performs its task according to a set of process rules which – because they are isolated from the whole – are likely to be less efficient as a result.  Indeed, these isolated functionaries are more likely to inadvertently work at cross purposes to the most effective function of the enterprise.

The finest example of institutional stupidity is ubiquitous, on display all around us every day – automobile traffic.  Why do I say this is an example of institutional stupidity?   Think back to the last time you had to go to the DMV for a driving test.  Think about the questions; how far behind the car in front of you should you be when approaching a school bus on the side of the road with its lights flashing?  How many feet should you be from an intersection where you are making a turn before turning on your indicator?  This is an overwhelmingly technical approach to teaching people how to drive that completely ignores the most critical aspect of the art of driving.  It has no philosophical component – it doesn’t address things like common courtesy, cooperation, the big picture.  Instead it focuses on the almost useless minutia and technically “correct” way to drive without teaching the skill of driving.  Why is this?

When it comes to driving, the emphasis on tiny details results in millions of people who can operate a car semi-successfully but who are shitty and dangerous drivers and a menace on the roads; assholes, in other words – completely unconcerned about others, selfish and inconsiderate, as if they are the only car on the road.  Now multiply by 10 million. 

It is because, like so many modern bureaucracies, it is more important to them to follow procedures established by faceless superiors than to actually teach people how to drive.  I call this “window-washing syndrome” – the typical organizational focus on process to the detriment of accomplishing the ostensible goals in the most efficient manner.  In other words, emphasizing the washing of the window in tedious detail while neglecting the goal of actually getting it clean. 

Many mid-level management positions have been eliminated in the 21st century wired world of commerce after being recognized for the useless drag on innovation and success that they are, bogged down in ass-covering and following procedure and letting the work of the enterprise suffer as a result.   How many times have you sincerely asked someone with whom you are forced to interact and negotiate, “Why do we have to do it this way?” only to be told, “Because we have to do it according to the guidelines” or some equally brain-dead explanation?   Not only is this thoughtless and lazy, it leaves the interpretation of these guidelines to drones and apparatchiks who may not be best able to provide one that is correct.

This fetish with process is rampant and is the single most common characteristic of organizations from Cub Scout troops to giant corporations.   The result is institutional paralysis and stasis if they’re lucky or an orgy of bad decisions if they’re allowed to run free.  The American car industry was, until recently, a fine example of this trickle down stupidity.  Hummers for the general public?  Really?  What were they thinking?  If decisions come about as a result of the Holy Process, then they are unquestioned by anyone and foisted on the public, often with great fanfare.  Where is the intellectual QA?  Absent, because nobody can be trusted to take one look at it and say, “Oh my god, no!”

We’ve just witnessed this at the University of California, an institution with a long and storied tradition of higher learning and one doubtless populated by professors worthy of the various Nobels and Pulitzers gathering dust in their offices but one also run by state bureaucrats plagued by the disease of institutional stupidity.  They have a university-wide logo, dripping with tradition, albeit, somewhat cluttered by modern standards of marketing design, what with the Latin, the candle, an open text book and so on.  So someone gets the brilliant idea to simplify it – a euphemism for dumbing it down – to an amorphous blob of blue and yellow which was met by nearly universal derision.  It was summarily withdrawn in a matter of days and the person or persons responsible for the decision are now hiding under their beds, confused and sucking their thumbs while the regents write the obscenely large check to the marketing design group who designed it. 

Schools are also fertile breeding grounds for institutional stupidity, where teachers – for whatever reason – teach their students how to pass tests rather than how to learn; how to get to the next level without learning much of anything useful on the journey.  Thus we have high schools churning out waves of ignorant, illiterate graduates, all of whom feel that they not only have to go to college, but that they are entitled to do so.  College professors then discover them sitting mute and glassy-eyed in the back rows of classrooms across the country getting “C’s” if the curve is distorted enough or failing miserably if it isn’t. 

Somehow four or five or six years later they emerge with a diploma, dumb as a bag of hammers, and they’re now proliferating into low level jobs in retail and customer service or, if the know someone, at the DMV where this cycle of inbred stupidity flourishes all over again.  They can’t think – all they can do is go down a list and check off those things they’re supposed to do until it’s time to go home and they can get in their cars, crank up their Rhianna CDs and drive home like assholes. 

Why are the people who wait on us in stores and businesses everywhere so terrible at their jobs?  Because they’re stupid.  And deep down they know they’re stupid; they watch Jeopardy and can’t answer a single question.  Knowing that they’re stupid and lots of people are smarter than them pisses them off.  At the same time they feel they deserve better or are too good for the job because – after all – they graduated from college.  They are intellectually lazy, arrogant, dismissive and contentious – assholes, in other words.  Voila!  The cycle is complete. 

Perhaps it’s because of the economic chaos of the last five or six years, but it also seems that everyone is really, really angry.  I was in line the other day when the local post office opened – there was a queue of maybe ten people waiting.  The door was opened by a grey-haired Filipino guy who took his place behind the counter and started waiting on us.  After five minutes another guy in line started muttering darkly, then louder and louder until he was yelling at this poor civil servant – himself a long-term captive in a fortress of organizational dysfunction – who tried to explain that he couldn’t call anyone to help him at the counter, as he was the only counter-person there.  But the angry, entitled guy wouldn’t hear it, and continued to demand that he get someone up there to help him.  A couple of times he could see someone moving around in the back and he yelled at them to get out front and “wait on us”.   Clearly, this guy was an asshole – a self-important nihilist slamming his way around the world with no thought other than what’s important to him.  Humility?  Too threatening.

In August I had a – thankfully – negative biopsy.   I have insurance with a major provider and, other than waiting somewhat anxiously to find out the deductible damage, I figured the professionals at the insurance company and the hospital would take care of the details.  Three and a half months later it is still as tangled as a plate of spaghetti.  I got a letter from the insurance company telling me they were trying to get the hospital to provide documentation that the procedure wasn’t for a “pre-existing condition”.   I thought that was odd given that it was a biopsy – by definition that seemed to eliminate the possibility of it being pre-existing.   When I asked the sweetly drawling customer service rep about that she said, “We’re not sayin’ it is – we’re just askin’ if it is.”  Ah, well that clears it up then, doesn’t it?  And when I asked her why they had to go through this exercise, she said, “Well sir, that’s just what we have to do.”  Is there a tiny spark of intellect in there anywhere?  I didn’t detect one.  

In organizations, they say, shit rolls downhill, meaning the top of the house makes a decision or approves a change and it proliferates down the food chain to the lowest level employees.  But it becomes like that parlor game – I think it’s called Chinese Whispering or something – where each person whispers the same thing to the person next to them in turn and everyone laughs when what comes out at the end is nothing like what goes in at the beginning.  Ha!  That makes for a fun drinking game but is less amusing when applied to corporate governance and organizational behavior.  Shit not only rolls down hill; it gets stinkier and stinkier as it gets closer to the bottom until those charged with implementation are holding their noses and vomiting in the street. 

Rigid adherence to process has evolved in some less-than innovative organizations until it entirely pre-empts thinking.  People not used to thinking regularly, then, can’t be trusted to think for themselves, take responsibility, or make decisions and so more box-checking processes evolve until no one understands why anything is being done anymore – they’re all just doing it and going home.  

We wouldn’t presume to offer a prescription for this daunting problem, as the drones are firmly entrenched with no sign of relinquishing their mindless hold on the cultural and business institutions all around us – or even recognizing that this crushing stupidity is a menace to American civilization as we know it.  Instead, now that we’ve got our blood pressure under control, we are inclined to instead pass along the ubiquitous advice of the English when faced with intractable difficulties; keep calm and carry on.   And don’t let on that you know anything is wrong.    



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