Disclaimer

This blog is political satire and the opinion of one lonely dog at the back fence. Nothing written in this blog is to be taken seriously until tomorrow at the earliest. At that time you may consider taking the previous days' blog seriously if you choose, however careful consideration should be given to this decision as it is, after all, serious.



(For some reason if you Google Barking Labrador you get a bunch of dog training sites - Duh...- and one direct link to this blog. But it is a post from June 2011 and somewhat out of date. If you are telling any of your friends about the blog, please direct them via the full URL - http://www.barkinglabrador.blogspot.com/. Thanks)

Friday, July 1, 2011

I'm a Yankee Doodle Doofus, born on the 4th of July...

It came as no huge surprise when Dominic Strauss-Kahn was released from house arrest today without bail and with the prosecutors basically saying, “Uh…sorry…our bad…” but it is tragic, nonetheless.  His accuser – upon further review – turns out to be, at best, of somewhat questionable reliability and, at worst, a tawdry opportunist who tried to take the Monica Lewinski-blow job route to 15 minutes of fame and was quickly exposed by virtue of a number of other questionable dealings intended to turn a quick buck.  If she thinks this particular method is her best option for making a living maybe she should give up the housekeeper job and just go full on Belle de Jour and be done with all the distractions. 

I suppose from a woman's perspective this is an example of a dirty old man in a position of power getting over on a woman of color who is from an African country and doesn't communicate well, etc.  That may turn out to be true.  But the guys emailing from Nigeria with desperate pleas to help them get their money transfered into US banks are from African countries and don't necessarily communicate well either.  Being an African in New York is not, in itself, an validation of your status as a babe in the wilderness. 
The real shame is that the media went into an unquestioning frothing-at-the-mouth frenzy and was ready to believe that this man, who has been a respected member of the political class and ultra-successful business man, suddenly hit the mini-bar and, not only got horny, but turned into a drunken frat boy and forced our heroine to give him a hummer.  Now he is French and, other than surrendering and good cheese, being horny is what the French are known for.  He has a reputation for randiness and anything is possible.  But it still strained belief that he would stoop to this kind of behaviour under these circumstances.
It is a measure of the shamelessness that prevails among “journalists” that the breathless reporting of this story, complete with sordid details about torn panty hose and do-it-yourself, boy-scout knot bondage, jumped to page 1 so easily.  Is it a coincidence that it was quickly followed by Weiner’s naughty tweets?  Maybe.  But I can’t help thinking about the things that pass for news and headlines and those things that don’t. 
These are the top ten search items on Yahoo today – an unscientific but revealing sample of what internet users are interested in:
1.      Charlene Wittstock, new bride of Prince Albert of Monoco
2.      Former heroin-waif model, Kate Moss
3.      Salma Hayek – very sexy in the Terrantino bad dream, From Dusk Until Dawn
4.      Retirement savings – and who isn’t interested in / worried about this?
5.      Jamie Hince – new husband of former heroine waif model Kate Moss
6.      Julia Roberts – big smile, new movie, whatever
7.      Longest Bridge – finally something that is interesting and not a celebrity.  You may have noticed that the Chinese are developing at warp speed and this 26 mile long marvel is clear evidence.
8.      Charliez Theron – Yawnnnnn…
9.      Beyonce – Uh…hehe…uh…
10.  Milla Jovovich – see Julia Roberts…

So there is the list as of 12:53 PM, Friday July 1.  Again, this is not to say that this is representative of anything other than what Yahoo users are searching for but I don’t see “World Peace” on here.   And I sure as hell don’t see “raising the debt ceiling”.   I can pretty much guarantee that Dominic Strause-Kahn, the IMF, economic foreign policy, or anything remotely related would not be on this list if it wasn't for a cockamamie sex scandal involving a French politician allegedly assaulting a chambermaid in a luxury hotel suite in New York. 
You can’t blame the media – their job is to sell whatever their product is – the New York Post, internet, TV news, or the Enquirer – so they do what they have to do.  But it does go a long way towards explaining the sophistication of the political discourse in this country and how we have come to have the quality of candidates for high office that we do, where none of the 10 current or presumed candidates are favored by more than 20% of the poll respondents and many of them are better known for being "personalities" than for thoughtful public policy - for shallow intellect and a lack of curiosity. 
So I say let’s all grab a baguette and some stinky cheese and say together, Vive les Idiots et bon chance!  Lafayette we are here!  Happy 4th of July!

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