Is it a coincidence that a raging republican grease fire erupted this week over various aspects of the great cultural wars we are all witnessing in this second decade of the 21st century? After all, over the last 30 days there has a been a slew of positive economic news coming from every direction except Greece, undercutting presumptive nominee Mitt Romney’s reason for being and causing a massive rethinking of the whole 2012 presidential race in musty republican basements and country club bars across the country. Combined with Mitt’s miserable results in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado and his less than triumphant win in the Maine caucus, his presumptiveness and electability are seriously in question.
Suddenly there is controversy and high profile outrage everywhere. The Obama administration’s tone deaf and arrogant back hand to catholic health care providers over providing insurance that promises free contraception started things off and the republican congressional leadership, candidates and intelligentsia couldn’t pile on fast enough. This was suspiciously coincident with a drop in the unemployment rate to 8.3% and the addition of 243,000 jobs in the last monthly report. There is suddenly not as much talk about jobs. Republican media outlets – are you listening, Faux News – went all Joan of Arc, declaring the awful negro was declaring war on religion, with Newt especially jabbering his usual bombast and claiming once again Obama’s intent to rule over a secular, socialist, anti-colonial, version of Denmark.
Ironically the same people howling over government intrusion in private “matters of conscience” over contraception pissed all over themselves reacting to the 9th Circuit Court ruling California’s proposition 8 unconstitutional in banning gay marriage. The brave republican constitutional scholars seem to have missed class the day they were talking about the equal protection clause and are screaming again about how allowing gays and lesbians to get married will ruin the sanctity of marriage and lead to millions of little homosexual children trying to indoctrinate their teachers and all the local townspeople and threatening us all – like Children of the Damned.
The fact that the republican big guns are hammering Obama is more evidence that, 1.) almost no one wants to see Romney as the nominee. He’s a walking empty suit spouting platitudes and meaningless gibberish and has no visible convictions. #2.) none of the other candidates stands a chance to beat Obama. I mean, seriously; President Santorum? President Gingrich? Nobody wants that. 3.) the only hope for desperate republicans and their corporate keepers is to have a brokered convention and draft someone currently sitting on the sidelines, hoping that in this day of 30 second attention spans and cocoon-like selfishness, the excitement and media somersaults that would follow such a thing would be enough to energize right-leaning independents and get the republican based enthused and voting.
If the Maine caucus is any indication, way more republicans are staying home to watch TV than are interested in getting out and enthusiastically campaigning for someone. In Maine you had a couple of thousand hearty souls brave the cold February night to vote in almost equal numbers for Romney and Uncle Ron Paul, a low turnout even by the pathetic standards of the last few primary events . Total numbers for Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado was about 300,000, making Santorum’s “huge comeback" highly suspect. Neither he nor anyone else is generating the kind of positive buzz that indicates building momentum. It appears as if most republicans know in their hearts that they don’t have a winner in the group so they’re heaving a heavy sigh and letting the far right religious fanatics and social engineers do the heavy lifting. But they won’t be enough to elect anyone. These are the same people who start a fresh will every time Harold Camping has a new hallucination.
After his nearly meaningless victories last week, Rick Santorum is declaring that it’s a two-man race between him and Mitt, that he’s the “real conservative” and the man best able to beat Obama in the fall. Of course, he has to say that and it’s scary to think that even he believes it, let alone any of the pointy-headed autocrats that make up the moneyed interests of the party. They know damned well he can’t win.
The far right of the party brought out their favorite attack Yorkie at the CPAC conference over the weekend, Sarah Palin, who delighted the crowd by tossing big chunks of red meat to them in the form of the standard criticisms of Obama mixed in with some “take our country back” racial code that had the audience practically holding up their lighters and cheering for an encore like the drug addled crowd at a 38 Special concert. But most of the country is immune to Palin’s putative charms and understand that, fundamentally, she’s an ignorant opportunist and publicity whore and not much more. She has all the political heft of Katie Perry. However in her speech even she acknowledged that they got nothing so far and encouraged the party faithful to carry the torches on to Tampa, (an extremely desultory rallying cry if ever there was one), so that the one true hope can emerge.
Unfortunately she’s probably thinking of herself. Those same republican power broker guys sitting in front of the half empty bottle of scotch aren’t yearning for her to throw her straight-jacket into the ring anymore than they want varsity debate captain and angry beaver, Newt Gingrich to stagger out of western Florida this summer. No, the smartest guys in the room want “none-of-the-above” and they’re hoping that John Boner, Bitch McConnell, Boy Wonder Eric Cantor and budget wonk and tea party poster boy, Paul Ryan can inflict enough damage between now and then by continuing to nip at Obama’s heels and pee on his leg every time he stands still that they can garnering a twisted coalition of social Nazis, immigrant haters, anti-tax crusaders, trailer park right wingers and half-mad government dismantlers that will support that one guy – any guy – who will end the torture and torment of a second Obama term. Wake me up on Labor Day to see what happened.
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