I'm having the most perfect hallucination...

 Michele Bachman officially entered the 2012 presidential race yesterday with a geographically challenged speech, comparing herself to John Wayne and misrepresenting his birthplace by about 150 miles, a minor error for her.   This woman is so completely crazy that it is almost incomprehensible to me that she is taken seriously by anyone.   And to come from the home state of one of the great liberal voices of the 20^th century- Hubert Humphrey - and the home of current Senator and one-time SNL wacky guy, Al Franken, makes it even more mysterious. 

The fascinating part of her ascendancy, though, is that she seems to be immune to any repercussions from her wild exaggeration, inconsistencies, misrepresentations, outright lies and assorted hallucinations, almost as if it’s an accepted part of her persona.   It isn’t enough that she is a biblical literalist who feels that she is called by God to participate in public life – and that’s not the God I know, by the way; he has far more sense than that – no, she spouts hysterical gibberish every time she opens her mouth.   She has been compared to Sarah Palin in her inability to think clearly in a linear fashion and who can be counted on to say something ridiculous at any time but, where Palin is a dim witted opportunist who is wallowing in her 15 minutes like she’ll never leave, Bachman is driven by something much less identifiable – sort of like a far right Joan of Arc complete with unpredictable visions and a zealot’s single-mindedness.   

She is a frightening phenomenon.  She is running neck and neck with Mitt Romney, an utterly uninspiring bureaucrat but someone who isn’t likely to quote the Book of Revelation when he discusses Obama’s health care plan.  Her grasp of foreign affairs is limited by her seeming to have no understanding of the world outside the US.  Claiming that a single NATO airstrike in Libya killed 30,000 people and criticizing Obama for it is a measure of both her ignorance and her pit bull-like determination to trample him and kick him aside every chance to she gets, even if she’s making shit up – and scarier still because of the people who believe her or simply don’t care.  Or, more likely, support her at least partly because those of us who are socialist, baby-killing, gay, non-believers laugh at her and, by extension, them.

Rebecca Costa, in her book, “The Watchman’s Rattle: Thinking Our Way Out of Extinction”, gives at least one possible explanation for the rise of someone like Bachman.  She says that complexity begets irrationality – that as one’s life and everyday existence becomes more and more complex it can overwhelm the brain’s ability to process it in a linear way and so one falls back on beliefs or faith.  Beliefs are cognitively economical; they don’t require much processing by the brain because there is not necessarily a rational basis for them.  She cites the Mayans, who had a thriving civilization for hundreds of years, with elaborate systems for storing food and water under ground.  When they had to live through a prolonged drought, they devolved into more and more irrational behavior, increasing blood sacrifice in a frenzy of killing until they completely abandoned reasoned solutions and resorted solely to killing new bornes on the sacrificial altars at the top of their pyramids and tossing them over the side.  Needless to say, this not only didn’t work, it essentially ended them as a viable race.

I also heard a statistic today that dovetails neatly with this idea to further explain voters gravitating to someone who routinely blurts out irrational, illogical nonsense but who looks good:

·         42 million American adults can't read at all; 50 million are unable to read at a higher level that is expected of a fourth or fifth grader.

·         The number of adults that are classified as functionally illiterate increases by about 2.25 million each year.

·         20 percent of high school seniors can be classified as being functionally illiterate at the time they graduate.

Going to back to the idea that belief is comforting in the absence of real knowledge, it’s a short distance to close the loop – illiterate people sit and watch reality shows and Faux News on TV to get their information and form their political opinions, such as they are.  When the volume and velocity of information threatens to overwhelm them they turn to belief and biblical determinism to bring order to their world  - what’s happening is god’s will – and, voila! – here comes Michele Bachman, called upon by god to serve the public and help govern the godless masses.  She is her own reality show, where she might say anything and anything might happen. As a side benefit she can explain complicated issues like global warming – it’s god’s will. 

This unsettling confluence of ignorance, opportunism, religiosity, selfishness, racism and madness is all too real in the US today.  And amidst a republican presidential field as bland and uninspiring as gruel, she stands out like some weird valkyrie whose hair is on fire but who doesn’t give a shit, the wrath of god writ large.  And for people who truly not only believe that Jesus is coming back soon but who are waiting to welcome him, she doesn’t seem like someone who is dangerously crazy – instead she seems like the antidote to all of the chaos that modernity has brought – and in that she is a true phenomenon of 21^st century America.  And god help us…

Musings on a Sunday morning…

           

In the Bay Area here you can’t help but consider the recent story of the young black dude who got kicked off the US Airways plane by a hyperventilating flight attendant because he was sporting the ridiculous but non-obscene current fashion of his pants down around mid-thigh like a character trying to make a get-away in a Warner Brothers cartoon.  Oh, and a trippy set of dreads.  Did I mention that he was black?  A furiously back pedaling US Airways spokesperson insisted that it wasn't because he was black and it wasn’t because it looked like his pants were falling off.  No, it was because he sassed a flight attendant who was only doing his job and so therefore little brother was deemed to be a safety risk, resulting in a return trip to the terminal and an unceremonious dumping out the back of the plane and a raft of potential criminal charges. 

Anyone who has flown in the last ten years has had at least one occasion when they were tempted to bitch-slap some airline pin head, whether it was a flight attendant or, more likely, one of the power-mad, puffed up, idiots who man the security portals in their little uniforms and who seem to delight in being able to make you take off your shoes and belt, turn your carry on inside out, wand grandmothers and make you pose in front of the scanner just so they can see your nuts and laugh about it later over a bag of Cheetos and a coke in the break room.   So it’s not really news that a young black honor student on his way home from a funeral might take offense to some overzealous asshole hassling him about his pants.   But the worst was yet to come. 

Within 24 hours pictures surfaced of another passenger on the same airline – a guy clearly in his 50’s, at least – picking up his suitcase at a baggage carrousel wearing high heels, stockings, a blue bra & panty set and a cute little cardigan.  The guy had just gotten off the plane after a flight during which he wore the same “outfit”, unmolested by the intrepid guardians of national security working for US Airways and who apparently travels the same way several times a month on US Airways with no problems.  His explanation was that he does it “for fun”, he isn’t hurting anyone and really wants to impress Anthony Weiner.

The somersaults US Airways did over the next couple of days would make Cirque de Soleil performers jealous.   Here’s hoping the kid with the dreads gets himself a snarling Doberman of a lawyer and wins himself college tuition and then some. 

On a lighter note, California “lawmakers” last week suddenly had their pay suspended until further notice by the state controller because they had not met their obligation – created by a recently passed proposition - to deliver a balanced budget by June 15.  To loud outbursts of hysterical laughter from the public, squawking, sniveling, whining politicians cried foul, saying it was unfair to take away their pay since they “were really, really trying” and was all the fault of the recalcitrant bullies on the other side of the aisle.   Governor Jerry Brown, trying hard to keep a straight face, said in a press conference that he was waiting anxiously for the two sides to make a decision and “lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.”

Finally in national news, Obama had another in a long line of fruitless desultory, pointless meetings with Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid over the make believe issue of raising the national debt ceiling, an exercise in political pissing up a rope if there ever was one, reminding me of nothing so much as a slap fight late at night in a fern bar between two intoxicated socialites.   That the country is hostage to such a monumentally trivial non-issue when the paper is also chuck full of stories again about the continued assault on the middle class, slaughter in Afghanistan and political chaos in Iraq begs the question; what the fuck is wrong with these guys?  There would be no debt problem is there weren’t multiple never-ending futile wars going on.  Figure it out, fellas, and let’s get this crap over with.

Khyber Pass or Bust...

I spent some time today listening to reaction to Obama's speech last night regarding his plans to draw down American forces in Afghanistan over the next couple of years.  NPR had a panel of three guys, all of whom were members of the defense/intelligence/diplomatic establishment and it sounded to me like nothing so much as three nerdy guys who spent way too much time in someone's basement rec room playing Risk all night.  They talked about a permanent outcome and competing strategies, mostly permutations of the same basic ideas; a stable democratic government, a defense force capable of insuring internal security and an economy capable of providing an increased standard of living for its people.  I thought about these one by one...

A stable democractic government seems hopelessly out of reach.  80% of the country is illiterate and therefore severly challenged to have the level of understanding necessary to assess competing ideas and ideologies as proposed by various candidates.  They can't read, and there isn't exactly a 46 inch flat screen in every hut so that they can even watch somebody tell them about those competing ideas.  Even if that meager infrastructure was in place, are these guys politically sophisticated enough to accept the defeat of someone they supported?  Or are they more likely to react to a defeat of their favored candidate by grabbing their Kalishnikovs and heading back to a familiar cave somewhere to discuss asassination plans? 

But more importantly, there is absolutely no tradition of an effective central government.  The place is a windswept, cold / hot barren place populated by competing, nomadic tribes who seemingly hate everyone who lives on the other side of their particular mountain range or outside their valley.  They worship differently and speak different dialects.  They have hated and fought each other for multiple generations and are deeply suspicious of any central authority telling them what to do.  That is clearly not promising.

And it doesn't help that Karzai's government is corrupt to the core.  At this point Kabul is like the rotting center of a pithy apple - no one outside the city wants anything to do with these guys except the opium overlords who need safe passage to get their crop to market.  The Pakistani's don't even trust him.  No, the whole idea of a "stable democractic government" seems like a stretch.

The Afghan security force is intended to be some 200,000 strong.  The Taliban are estimated to number somewhere around 20,000.  The last I heard the army "needs a lot of work".  Without American foreign aid the government would not be able to afford to pay them and they would head back to the villages.  This sounds an awful lot like the failed attempt to "Vietnamization" that conflict but with troops that are far less motivated.  I don't see how this can have a good outcome.

And the economy of the country is a joke, with a GDP per capita of $1,000, 51st of 54 Asian nations.  Opium poppy production accounts for over a third of GDP.  35% of the country is unemployed.  When fruits and nuts, hides and pelts are the basis of your export economy, you have a problem, and that is reflected in the fact that their total exports are 2 billion dollars per year..  They struggle to provide clean drinking water, housing and electricity.  The villagers welcome Aerican troops as long as we can pay them but the minute the money is cut off they couldn't care less. To think that this country can participate in the global economy is absurd.

So what is the end game for us in Afghanistan?  What is the goal, the achievement of which signals success?  We can look forward to none of the things that would seem to make 10 years of sacrifice - a trillion dollars and 2,000 deaths - make sense.  To spend an additonal 100 billion dollars and lose mre American soldiers while we take 24 months to extricate ourselves seems utterly pointless.  The Risk playing nerds can argue over the efficacy of this strategy or that troop level or how many Taliban remain and congratulate themselves over what they characterize as victories and progress but it is ultimately an illusion that they create and maintain so that they can write books and become fellows of various think tanks and which is as far removed from reality as Hogwarts.  They bravely talk about "polls" of everyday Afghans that indicate that a majority want us to stay, ignoring that 90% of the country doesn't have electricity, let alone a telephone - like they are sitting around watching American Idol in the evening but pause the DVR to answer a few questions about the occupation force patroling their dirt roads and villages.  Right...

The reality is that this is a 15th century country in every way except for Kabul.  These guys just want to herd their goats, pray 5 times a day, smoke a bowl, eat their goat and go to sleep.  That we want to superimpose an entirely foreign and, in large part, unwanted way of life on them begs the question; what the hell are we thinking?  Why? 

Goldman Sachs, Greenspan and other financial criminals…

With apologies to Eddie Ducatti, infamous, highly caffeinated eastern Michigan greaser...

Much excitement in the Elephant herd tonight; Michele Bachman has announced that she is throwing her straight jacket into the ring and will campaign for the Iowa caucuses in what appears to be an attempt to exceed Sarah Palin’s short lived, 15 minute foray into comic absurdity and political futility, and I think she’s just the guy for the job.  She joins Jon Huntsman, by most reports a decent and reasonable man, which, ex post facto, makes his a Quixotic quest indeed, as the last, decent reasonable man elected by republicans was Eisenhower and some people think they only elected him because he wore that snappy uniform well. 

In other news, the criminal swine from Goldman Sachs are still not in jail, although there are vague threats from congress of “increased oversight” of hedge funds, which sounds like the SEC regulators will meet the masters of the universe for cocktails and chicken wings once a month.  I think it’s pretty clear by now that congress’ interest in regulating Wall Street runs to opening the envelopes to make sure the checks are made out correctly.  In a hopeful turn of events, however, there does seem to be some groundswell among the public, expressed mostly as sputtering outrage directed towards bankers, and that might just mean, in a more perfect world, that some of those heartless, shiny-eyed, suspender-wearing overlords will end up in jail.  Of course it wouldn't be a real jail - those guys would probably have conjugal visits with $1,000 hookers - but at least the treacherous fuckers would be off the streets. 

Meanwhile, Alan Greenspan’s legacy is fading as quickly as Milli Vanilli, with a long queue of economists, money managers and CEO types now swearing that they wondered what he was thinking at the time, (1987 – 2006, including the final, sleepy days of Reagan’s second term, Bush I, Clinton and most of Bush II),  and wanted to advise him that ignoring both a stock and real estate bubble happening at the same time was unwise and imprudent but they had other shit to do and everything, plus he wouldn’t return their calls. Poor Greenspan - his star went supernova a while ago and now I picture him left with Andrea Mitchell laying around in her lingerie drinking gin at 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon.   

The funny thing about outrage amongst the great unwashed electorate is that is directed at the very same people who the republican party supports unequivocally – those god damned TARP accepting pigs who ruined the country are the same people beloved by the Ayn Rand bedazzled republican intelligencia who are, in turn, carried on the shoulders of the Tea party rabble for demanding prayer in school, deporting all illegal aliens, treating gay couples like they do the guys who mow their lawns, wrapping themselves in the flag at every opportunity and hating Obama.  Oh, and cutting corporate taxes – don’t forget that. 

That this makes absolutely no sense has somehow slipped past the mainstream press still intoxicated by Palin’s emails and Weiner’s genitals, (although those are sooo last week).  They don’t care a bit about blue collar jobs, as average wages are virtually unchanged for the last 20 years while corporate profits have swelled and grown even in the face of multiple recessions and assorted economic slow-downs.  The Paul Ryans of the world want to turn the medicare that most of these people depends on into “let them eat cake” voucher systems and privatize social security so that they can cut corporate taxes even more – because they, you know, create jobs.  To paraphrase Chevy Chase in Caddyshack; “Yeah…in China”  

In a final middle finger gesture of contempt for workers and genuflection before the bulls and bears, the US Supreme Court, led by Antonin “Fuck the Doomed “ Scalia and his half wit side kick Clarence Thomas led a close 5-4 majority in deciding that women who had been systematically discriminated against by Wal-Mart for years, could not sue as a class because – irony alert! – it was too big!  Too many women had been treated like semi-emancipated slaves by the 1960’s deep south management of Wal-Mart and so therefore…um…er…case dismissed.  Nice one, guys.  But it does dovetail nicely with what surely will be remembered as one of the most infamously stupid and cowardly decisions in the history of the court, the Citizens United case.  So at least you can admire the consistency of intent and single-mindedness of the elphant herd in support of corporate overlords.  It just begs the questions, could Obama actually screw this up badly enough to lose to these guys?  

One, two, three, what are we fightin' for, don't ask me I don't give a damn...

The sight of the unnaturally tanned John Boner and his minions standing up at an ersatz press conference the other day to complain that Obama hasn’t fulfilled his manly presidential duties as it relates to congress’ power to declare war, was another instance in a long line of republican hypocrisy related to the power of the presidency.  Hell, you'd a thought George W. was king, not president.   And as is often the case, the democrats aren’t guilt free in this regard – both parties generally are belligerent to the opposing party when it’s in power, regardless of what’s in the country’s best interest.   But the republicans squeal the loudest when the president is a democrat and are the most quietly compliant when it’s their boy in power. 

Personally I am deeply disappointed in Obama’s foreign policy, in particular his handling of the wars.  And his administration has not covered itself with glory with its reaction to the upheaval in the Middle East this spring but it’s not clear to me that any other president would have done much differently, given the geopolitical complexity of the situation.  Congress is right to question what the hell the end game is in Lybia –it’s certainly not clear.  If you listened carefully to his speech a couple of months ago, trying to explain the US role, it sounded as if it was undertaken for two reasons; convenience coupled with a deep, institutional hatred of Col. Khadafy.  Expediency is not an adequate explanation for engaging the US military in support of foreign policy decisions, even against a camel turd like Khadafy.

But the tsk, tsking and finger shaking is laughable given the republicans’ roster of overly enthusiastic chicken hawks, war mongers and Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore wannbes.  From Reagan’s trumped up dick-measuring exercise – the invasion of Grenada – to cover up his concurrent interventionist debacle, landing the Marines in Lebanon, to Dubbya’s equally dubious and trumped up invasion of Iraq, the cheerleaders on the right have had their pom-poms out and shaking like Hot Lips Hoolihan.  Only when a democrat is in office have they suddenly remembered their constitutional mandate to sign off on sending US troops into combat and started a loud chorus of outraged hurrumphing…

But compounding the comic bleating is their  previously enthusiastic support for killing Khadafy by any means possible and John “I did think she’d be a great VP – seriously” McCain, who was all for landing the Marines again on the shores of Tripoli.  The guy had to be talked out of packing his Patton uniform and swagger stick when he went over there to “assess the situation” when the rebellion started.  

Let’s face it, fellas…congress long ago rolled over and said, “Oh, fuck it”, when it comes to questions of the War Powers Act, and to start acting indignant and protective of your constitutional prerogative now smacks of piling on.  You guys are taking turns treating Obama’s leg like a urinal over everything from his handling of the economy to health care to his freakin'jump shot.  He can’t satisfy you with his Iraq policy or his strategy in Afghanistan – clearly your shallow partisan political aspirations are coloring your running of the country and, although that’s not surprising in the weird, pitiless, 21^st century bitch-slap of a never-ending campaign world, it still makes you look like sniveling idiots.

Pardon me whilst I explain myself briefly...

Someone called me a liberal recently, meaning to insult me, of course.  It didn’t but it did make me stop and think.  And I have to admit that it did annoy me for two reasons; first, the use of the word “liberal” is a mindless and meaningless pejorative invented and bandied about by a slathering mass media too brain dead to be nuanced about anything and only too anxious to use vague categories to cover up a base drive for controversy and hyperbole.   And secondly, because I’m not. 

So in the interest of full disclosure, here’s what I expect from my government, (and what I am quite happy to help pay for):  a guarantee of a minimum level of health care, food , and shelter for every citizen.  This does not mean that it force feeds the “dream of home ownership” to anyone and everyone but that its citizens are not forced to live under bridges either.

A high quality education for every child.  This doesn’t mean every child goes to college, by the way – only that they are given a basic education and allowed the opportunity should they want to go to college.  One of the follies of the last 50 years is the misguided attempt to shove every square-peg child through the round hole of college for no other reason, apparently, than to allow us to wash our hands of them and say we have done our best to see that they are on the road to the American dream.  It is an enormous waste of time and money and causes much unnecessary angst among the intelligencia.  

I expect the government to be able to field a competent defense force.  Given the full range of American interests and responsibilities, I will concede that this will be a sizable undertaking but it will not be the bell-cow of the budget that it is now – not even close. 

I assume and expect that the government will provide a modern, safe, and comprehensive infrastructure, both physical and intellectual, so that we may pursue free travel and commerce across the enterprise.  And while this doesn’t mean that the government owns the airlines, it does mean that it sees to it that they fly the planes right-side-up. 

While the market would eventually deal with a food producer who unwittingly poisons the consumers who buy its products, I would prefer that we don’t rely on that level of capitalist Darwinism to take care of it – I need the government to have some basic requirements for those whose enterprise can endanger the rest of us.  Witness the oil spill in the Gulf.

This is a country blessed with an incredible variety of natural beauty and I expect the government to recognize and protect it so that there are no oil wells in Yosemite Valley, water is clean and safe enough to drink and we don't systematically poison ourselves with toxic gases, chemical waste, or and other disgusting effluents. 

Finally, I expect that the government will see to it that all of its citizens are treated fairly, either through the courts or by force if necessary, (See Alabama, Selma, 1963). 

I don’t want to pay for every hare-brained undertaking sponsored by self serving politicians in the interest of being re-elected or by misguided do-gooders being overly parental.  No thanks.  There is waaaaaaaaaaaay to much money spent on random nonsense and cluttered incompetence – deal with almost any government agency and that becomes obvious.

I don’t think any woman should have to have an abortion but since I was born with a penis and not a womb, what I think isn’t really relevant to the discussion. 

I like guns, mostly because I enjoy the precision of them and find it enormously challenging to fire a WWII bolt action rifle and hit a target 100 yards away, not for personal protection or to fight off the black helicopters when they come for me. 

I’m not much for religion after being raised as a catholic, and find the concept of God to be extremely nebulous to put it kindly.  I believe our life is heaven if we make it so – that’s what’s up to us; an exercise in free will that takes a bit more effort than committing any hateful, sinful thing and then saying a quick prayer to wash the slate clean – Homey don’t play that.  I think it’s a waste of time thinking so much about the next life that you miss this one. 

I don’t think the US has a manifest destiny in the world that puts us ahead of anyone else, period.  I firmly believe that US foreign policy the last 100 years has been one idiotic misstep and short-sighted decision after another.  All the proof one needs is in our relationship with the countries in our own hemisphere – a poisonous stew of paternal imperialism spiced with racism that has resulted in the very countries with whom we should be most closely aligned and allied deeply suspicious of us at every turn.   And a western hemisphere which can and should be able to provide us with virtually all of the resources and markets we need is left an under developed mess barely able to sustain itself.  This, however, doesn’t make me a liberal; it makes me a radical. 

I think a flat tax is not a bad idea, with a tax exemption for incomes under $20,000 per year.  I’m no CPA but you don’t have to be one to know that there is no single thing in the country more deeply reviled and wasteful than the IRS.  I think taxing almost any capital gain is folly and taxing an estate is government theft.   

I routinely rip politicians because I think they think they’re the Ruling Class, after being elected in a democracy, and so they are clearly deranged and not clear on the concept.   It’s just easier to rip the Elephants than the Donkeys because their hypocrisy is more overt and blatant, not because the Donkeys are fundamentally “better”.   

In short, I resent and disown the label, liberal.  Liberals are the carefully dressed folks who drive their Volvo or Mercedes to Whole Foods to buy organic coffee and boutique olive oil and while on their way, discuss the plight of the “poor Mexican illegals”, all the while Raul is back home mowing their lawn for $6.00 an hour and a crew of brown women are cleaning their house – the people who seem uneasy saying the word “Mexican” in polite conversation, as if they were saying “nigger”, and who act like complete assholes if they ever dare to actually visit a foreign country.  Of course, acting like an asshole when you’re overseas is not unique to liberals – they are just usually better dressed. 

As my hero used to say, "When the going gets weird, the weird go pro..."

Interesting news out of Brazil today - apparently riot police were called in to manage a group of protesters who were demonstrating in support of the legalization of marijuana and, when the crowd of stoners became a bit unruly, they fired tear gas into the crowd in an attempt to get them to disburse.  As the demonstration broke up as a result and red-eyed participants ran off in every direction, several of them were overheard saying, "Wow, man...that shit is really harsh.  Must be that nasty sensimilla from Paraguay..."

Also in the news today; the mainstream press continues to report that al Qaeda has "elected" a new leader in the wake of the death of Osama bin Laden, as if these guys booked some rooms at the Islamabad Ramada Inn and, after a bracing continental breakfast of cardboard bran muffins, barely identifiable yellow slime labeled "scrambled eggs", and mystery meat sausage, they convened in the Nanga Parbat Room, sat in neatly lined up folding chairs listening to droning promises of "I promise to bring even more death to the great Satan, America than my opponent, al-Adel", blah, blah blah, they filled out their goatskin ballots and arrived at a winner, after which confetti rained down and rustic tea cups were raised in a mass toast to the newly elected leader's successful drive for worldwide bloodshed and random acts of violence.  Huzzah...!  I can almost see them singing Happy Days Are Here Again wearing straw boaters. 

And in a final fresh blast of Kafkaesque theater, it was announced that Manuel Noriega's Panama mansion has once again found no takers in what must be an amusing scene at the auction house in Panama City.  I hope you remember Noriega as the pock-marked penny ante despot and itinerate drug smuggler who was unfortunate enough to know where all the bodies were buried - literally and figuratively - in the then white hot Iran / Contra affair and who subsequently got unceremoniously shit-canned out of office by the US Marines at the behest of the Reagan / Bush syndicate and spent his last years rotting in a Miami prison cell while his attorney's pleaded in vain for him to be allowed to present evidence that the CIA knew he was laundering money for various drug cartels so it wasn't his fault.  Now his abandoned Central American Versaille sits woefully in the richest section of Panama City, over grown and inhabited by squatters like something straight  out of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel and his story will probably never see the light of day.

  Ironically the mansion is in what is called the San Francisco district of the city and could be had for the bargain price of 2.5 million dollars, the price of a nice but not that nice house in Los Altos Hills but way below what it would take to buy one in Pacific Heights in the real San Francisco.  However, it received no bids at the recent auction.  Maybe folks remember that the Marines blasted it with death metal played over enormous loudspeakers 24 hours a day in an attempt to get Noriega to come out in the aftermath of the invasion and think the place therefore has bad juju.  Location, location, location...