Pardon me whilst I explain myself briefly...

Someone called me a liberal recently, meaning to insult me, of course.  It didn’t but it did make me stop and think.  And I have to admit that it did annoy me for two reasons; first, the use of the word “liberal” is a mindless and meaningless pejorative invented and bandied about by a slathering mass media too brain dead to be nuanced about anything and only too anxious to use vague categories to cover up a base drive for controversy and hyperbole.   And secondly, because I’m not. 

So in the interest of full disclosure, here’s what I expect from my government, (and what I am quite happy to help pay for):  a guarantee of a minimum level of health care, food , and shelter for every citizen.  This does not mean that it force feeds the “dream of home ownership” to anyone and everyone but that its citizens are not forced to live under bridges either.

A high quality education for every child.  This doesn’t mean every child goes to college, by the way – only that they are given a basic education and allowed the opportunity should they want to go to college.  One of the follies of the last 50 years is the misguided attempt to shove every square-peg child through the round hole of college for no other reason, apparently, than to allow us to wash our hands of them and say we have done our best to see that they are on the road to the American dream.  It is an enormous waste of time and money and causes much unnecessary angst among the intelligencia.  

I expect the government to be able to field a competent defense force.  Given the full range of American interests and responsibilities, I will concede that this will be a sizable undertaking but it will not be the bell-cow of the budget that it is now – not even close. 

I assume and expect that the government will provide a modern, safe, and comprehensive infrastructure, both physical and intellectual, so that we may pursue free travel and commerce across the enterprise.  And while this doesn’t mean that the government owns the airlines, it does mean that it sees to it that they fly the planes right-side-up. 

While the market would eventually deal with a food producer who unwittingly poisons the consumers who buy its products, I would prefer that we don’t rely on that level of capitalist Darwinism to take care of it – I need the government to have some basic requirements for those whose enterprise can endanger the rest of us.  Witness the oil spill in the Gulf.

This is a country blessed with an incredible variety of natural beauty and I expect the government to recognize and protect it so that there are no oil wells in Yosemite Valley, water is clean and safe enough to drink and we don't systematically poison ourselves with toxic gases, chemical waste, or and other disgusting effluents. 

Finally, I expect that the government will see to it that all of its citizens are treated fairly, either through the courts or by force if necessary, (See Alabama, Selma, 1963). 

I don’t want to pay for every hare-brained undertaking sponsored by self serving politicians in the interest of being re-elected or by misguided do-gooders being overly parental.  No thanks.  There is waaaaaaaaaaaay to much money spent on random nonsense and cluttered incompetence – deal with almost any government agency and that becomes obvious.

I don’t think any woman should have to have an abortion but since I was born with a penis and not a womb, what I think isn’t really relevant to the discussion. 

I like guns, mostly because I enjoy the precision of them and find it enormously challenging to fire a WWII bolt action rifle and hit a target 100 yards away, not for personal protection or to fight off the black helicopters when they come for me. 

I’m not much for religion after being raised as a catholic, and find the concept of God to be extremely nebulous to put it kindly.  I believe our life is heaven if we make it so – that’s what’s up to us; an exercise in free will that takes a bit more effort than committing any hateful, sinful thing and then saying a quick prayer to wash the slate clean – Homey don’t play that.  I think it’s a waste of time thinking so much about the next life that you miss this one. 

I don’t think the US has a manifest destiny in the world that puts us ahead of anyone else, period.  I firmly believe that US foreign policy the last 100 years has been one idiotic misstep and short-sighted decision after another.  All the proof one needs is in our relationship with the countries in our own hemisphere – a poisonous stew of paternal imperialism spiced with racism that has resulted in the very countries with whom we should be most closely aligned and allied deeply suspicious of us at every turn.   And a western hemisphere which can and should be able to provide us with virtually all of the resources and markets we need is left an under developed mess barely able to sustain itself.  This, however, doesn’t make me a liberal; it makes me a radical. 

I think a flat tax is not a bad idea, with a tax exemption for incomes under $20,000 per year.  I’m no CPA but you don’t have to be one to know that there is no single thing in the country more deeply reviled and wasteful than the IRS.  I think taxing almost any capital gain is folly and taxing an estate is government theft.   

I routinely rip politicians because I think they think they’re the Ruling Class, after being elected in a democracy, and so they are clearly deranged and not clear on the concept.   It’s just easier to rip the Elephants than the Donkeys because their hypocrisy is more overt and blatant, not because the Donkeys are fundamentally “better”.   

In short, I resent and disown the label, liberal.  Liberals are the carefully dressed folks who drive their Volvo or Mercedes to Whole Foods to buy organic coffee and boutique olive oil and while on their way, discuss the plight of the “poor Mexican illegals”, all the while Raul is back home mowing their lawn for $6.00 an hour and a crew of brown women are cleaning their house – the people who seem uneasy saying the word “Mexican” in polite conversation, as if they were saying “nigger”, and who act like complete assholes if they ever dare to actually visit a foreign country.  Of course, acting like an asshole when you’re overseas is not unique to liberals – they are just usually better dressed.