Meg Whitman has emerged from her Atherton bunker with a series of appearances around the state designed to begin making her politically relevant again after her madcap spending spree during last year’s California governor’s race was trumped by her thick-headed and ill-advised firing of a long-time but illegal housekeeper mid-stream.  Whitman’s campaign spending topped 162 million dollars, the bulk of which came from her personal fortune, while Jerry Brown, the eventual runaway winner, spent 26 million and didn’t fire a Mexican nanny or drop his pants in any other embarrassing gaffe and thereby won the race by 15 points. 

In an unsurprising move, political novice Whitman has chosen to lend her support to putative republican front runner and fellow milquetoast conservative, Mitt Romney, more evidence of her questionable but orthodox political judgment.   Doing so in a democratic stronghold like California is a little like backing Finland against the Nazis in World War II – admirable on principle but futile as a practical matter.

Naturally she came out with gun blazing, criticizing Obama in the same vaguely disingenuous but familiar way as most republicans, saying, “"This president ran on the platform of bringing people together, meeting in the middle ... and it has not worked out that way at all," she said. "There's a big hunger for new leadership; he has not been a good leader on the economy." 

Of course when the republican leader in the senate has a stated goal in the first days of the new administration of seeing that it fails, it doesn’t bode well for the spirit of cooperation and collaboration needed to actually accomplish anything bi-partisan and “bring people together” and “meet in the middle”.    Inconsistencies like this have never been a hindrance to political speech in the past, of course, and one expects this kind of rhetoric these days when getting something accomplished takes a back seat to winning for its own sake.   And except in rare cases – like Bill Gates and some notable others – billionaire business people seem naturally inclined to ignore the larger social issues of providing a minimum level of existence to everyone in favor of a modified Ayn Rand meets Marie Antoinette political philosophy of pushing those unfortunate enough to be weaker to one side so they can get the good seats in the life boats.   

Which leads to a clearly frustrated Obama – attempting to “meet in the middle” - in front of the microphones yesterday trying to make the case for compromise in raising the debt ceiling – the esoteric emergency that has sadly dominated both parties’ limited attention span lately.  The democrats have suggested that perhaps continued tax breaks for oil companies – the executives for which, in their private moments, do the Scrooge McDuck backstroke through their basement rooms bulging with cash – might be a place where some revenue reform could happen, only to immediately be shouted down by republican mobs screaming, “tax increase, tax increase, tax increase…”.  

Only in the land of the politically ignorant can such posturing pass for intelligent representation.  I saw republican Senator Grassely from Iowa yesterday warning ominously that any attempt to make oil companies share the obscene profits into which they have fallen ass-backwards as a result of the threat that a disruption in oil supplies will cause gas prices to go up at the pump, harming average Americans.  This is, or course, unmitigated bullshit but consumers already wondering where their money has gone are susceptible to this kind of scary fairy tale and so republican corporate apologists persist in telling it, like a campfire story intended to make sure the kids don’t get out of the tent during the night.

Blaming someone in the other party for anything that goes wrong is normal operating procedure so Obama gets blamed for our misery, much like – dare I speak his name – Jimmy Carter was blamed for the economy in 1977. The person who happens to be present when something occurs isn’t necessarily to blame.  Obama is no more to blame for the great recession / economic crisis / financial house of cards than Bush was.  Blaming Bush for 9/11 was also simplistic political horse shit - Bush was a hapless dupe who happened to be the guy reading “My Pet Goat” in the wrong place at the wrong time and, if not for those two monumental events, would have gone down in history like Rutherford B Hayes – on the list but a complete cypher.    

What neither party seems willing to talk about is a very simple calculus; the government IS too big, there IS waste, inefficiency, fraud, graft, corruption, duplication and incompetence – the democrats need to start the conversation with those basic cards on the table.   And the republicans, instead of slashing and burning like Sherman marching to the sea, need to recognize and admit that taxes are necessary, some are better than others, but you can’t start to cut government spending by pillaging the poorest and least able to defend themselves while acting as ersatz lobbyists for the defense department and every single corporate interest willing to send a check.   The middle ground is actually in the middle, and the sooner these knuckleheads figure that out the sooner we can cut out this woebegone pissing match and get something accomplished. 

I'm having the most perfect hallucination...

 Michele Bachman officially entered the 2012 presidential race yesterday with a geographically challenged speech, comparing herself to John Wayne and misrepresenting his birthplace by about 150 miles, a minor error for her.   This woman is so completely crazy that it is almost incomprehensible to me that she is taken seriously by anyone.   And to come from the home state of one of the great liberal voices of the 20^th century- Hubert Humphrey - and the home of current Senator and one-time SNL wacky guy, Al Franken, makes it even more mysterious. 

The fascinating part of her ascendancy, though, is that she seems to be immune to any repercussions from her wild exaggeration, inconsistencies, misrepresentations, outright lies and assorted hallucinations, almost as if it’s an accepted part of her persona.   It isn’t enough that she is a biblical literalist who feels that she is called by God to participate in public life – and that’s not the God I know, by the way; he has far more sense than that – no, she spouts hysterical gibberish every time she opens her mouth.   She has been compared to Sarah Palin in her inability to think clearly in a linear fashion and who can be counted on to say something ridiculous at any time but, where Palin is a dim witted opportunist who is wallowing in her 15 minutes like she’ll never leave, Bachman is driven by something much less identifiable – sort of like a far right Joan of Arc complete with unpredictable visions and a zealot’s single-mindedness.   

She is a frightening phenomenon.  She is running neck and neck with Mitt Romney, an utterly uninspiring bureaucrat but someone who isn’t likely to quote the Book of Revelation when he discusses Obama’s health care plan.  Her grasp of foreign affairs is limited by her seeming to have no understanding of the world outside the US.  Claiming that a single NATO airstrike in Libya killed 30,000 people and criticizing Obama for it is a measure of both her ignorance and her pit bull-like determination to trample him and kick him aside every chance to she gets, even if she’s making shit up – and scarier still because of the people who believe her or simply don’t care.  Or, more likely, support her at least partly because those of us who are socialist, baby-killing, gay, non-believers laugh at her and, by extension, them.

Rebecca Costa, in her book, “The Watchman’s Rattle: Thinking Our Way Out of Extinction”, gives at least one possible explanation for the rise of someone like Bachman.  She says that complexity begets irrationality – that as one’s life and everyday existence becomes more and more complex it can overwhelm the brain’s ability to process it in a linear way and so one falls back on beliefs or faith.  Beliefs are cognitively economical; they don’t require much processing by the brain because there is not necessarily a rational basis for them.  She cites the Mayans, who had a thriving civilization for hundreds of years, with elaborate systems for storing food and water under ground.  When they had to live through a prolonged drought, they devolved into more and more irrational behavior, increasing blood sacrifice in a frenzy of killing until they completely abandoned reasoned solutions and resorted solely to killing new bornes on the sacrificial altars at the top of their pyramids and tossing them over the side.  Needless to say, this not only didn’t work, it essentially ended them as a viable race.

I also heard a statistic today that dovetails neatly with this idea to further explain voters gravitating to someone who routinely blurts out irrational, illogical nonsense but who looks good:

·         42 million American adults can't read at all; 50 million are unable to read at a higher level that is expected of a fourth or fifth grader.

·         The number of adults that are classified as functionally illiterate increases by about 2.25 million each year.

·         20 percent of high school seniors can be classified as being functionally illiterate at the time they graduate.

Going to back to the idea that belief is comforting in the absence of real knowledge, it’s a short distance to close the loop – illiterate people sit and watch reality shows and Faux News on TV to get their information and form their political opinions, such as they are.  When the volume and velocity of information threatens to overwhelm them they turn to belief and biblical determinism to bring order to their world  - what’s happening is god’s will – and, voila! – here comes Michele Bachman, called upon by god to serve the public and help govern the godless masses.  She is her own reality show, where she might say anything and anything might happen. As a side benefit she can explain complicated issues like global warming – it’s god’s will. 

This unsettling confluence of ignorance, opportunism, religiosity, selfishness, racism and madness is all too real in the US today.  And amidst a republican presidential field as bland and uninspiring as gruel, she stands out like some weird valkyrie whose hair is on fire but who doesn’t give a shit, the wrath of god writ large.  And for people who truly not only believe that Jesus is coming back soon but who are waiting to welcome him, she doesn’t seem like someone who is dangerously crazy – instead she seems like the antidote to all of the chaos that modernity has brought – and in that she is a true phenomenon of 21^st century America.  And god help us…

Musings on a Sunday morning…

           

In the Bay Area here you can’t help but consider the recent story of the young black dude who got kicked off the US Airways plane by a hyperventilating flight attendant because he was sporting the ridiculous but non-obscene current fashion of his pants down around mid-thigh like a character trying to make a get-away in a Warner Brothers cartoon.  Oh, and a trippy set of dreads.  Did I mention that he was black?  A furiously back pedaling US Airways spokesperson insisted that it wasn't because he was black and it wasn’t because it looked like his pants were falling off.  No, it was because he sassed a flight attendant who was only doing his job and so therefore little brother was deemed to be a safety risk, resulting in a return trip to the terminal and an unceremonious dumping out the back of the plane and a raft of potential criminal charges. 

Anyone who has flown in the last ten years has had at least one occasion when they were tempted to bitch-slap some airline pin head, whether it was a flight attendant or, more likely, one of the power-mad, puffed up, idiots who man the security portals in their little uniforms and who seem to delight in being able to make you take off your shoes and belt, turn your carry on inside out, wand grandmothers and make you pose in front of the scanner just so they can see your nuts and laugh about it later over a bag of Cheetos and a coke in the break room.   So it’s not really news that a young black honor student on his way home from a funeral might take offense to some overzealous asshole hassling him about his pants.   But the worst was yet to come. 

Within 24 hours pictures surfaced of another passenger on the same airline – a guy clearly in his 50’s, at least – picking up his suitcase at a baggage carrousel wearing high heels, stockings, a blue bra & panty set and a cute little cardigan.  The guy had just gotten off the plane after a flight during which he wore the same “outfit”, unmolested by the intrepid guardians of national security working for US Airways and who apparently travels the same way several times a month on US Airways with no problems.  His explanation was that he does it “for fun”, he isn’t hurting anyone and really wants to impress Anthony Weiner.

The somersaults US Airways did over the next couple of days would make Cirque de Soleil performers jealous.   Here’s hoping the kid with the dreads gets himself a snarling Doberman of a lawyer and wins himself college tuition and then some. 

On a lighter note, California “lawmakers” last week suddenly had their pay suspended until further notice by the state controller because they had not met their obligation – created by a recently passed proposition - to deliver a balanced budget by June 15.  To loud outbursts of hysterical laughter from the public, squawking, sniveling, whining politicians cried foul, saying it was unfair to take away their pay since they “were really, really trying” and was all the fault of the recalcitrant bullies on the other side of the aisle.   Governor Jerry Brown, trying hard to keep a straight face, said in a press conference that he was waiting anxiously for the two sides to make a decision and “lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.”

Finally in national news, Obama had another in a long line of fruitless desultory, pointless meetings with Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid over the make believe issue of raising the national debt ceiling, an exercise in political pissing up a rope if there ever was one, reminding me of nothing so much as a slap fight late at night in a fern bar between two intoxicated socialites.   That the country is hostage to such a monumentally trivial non-issue when the paper is also chuck full of stories again about the continued assault on the middle class, slaughter in Afghanistan and political chaos in Iraq begs the question; what the fuck is wrong with these guys?  There would be no debt problem is there weren’t multiple never-ending futile wars going on.  Figure it out, fellas, and let’s get this crap over with.

Khyber Pass or Bust...

I spent some time today listening to reaction to Obama's speech last night regarding his plans to draw down American forces in Afghanistan over the next couple of years.  NPR had a panel of three guys, all of whom were members of the defense/intelligence/diplomatic establishment and it sounded to me like nothing so much as three nerdy guys who spent way too much time in someone's basement rec room playing Risk all night.  They talked about a permanent outcome and competing strategies, mostly permutations of the same basic ideas; a stable democratic government, a defense force capable of insuring internal security and an economy capable of providing an increased standard of living for its people.  I thought about these one by one...

A stable democractic government seems hopelessly out of reach.  80% of the country is illiterate and therefore severly challenged to have the level of understanding necessary to assess competing ideas and ideologies as proposed by various candidates.  They can't read, and there isn't exactly a 46 inch flat screen in every hut so that they can even watch somebody tell them about those competing ideas.  Even if that meager infrastructure was in place, are these guys politically sophisticated enough to accept the defeat of someone they supported?  Or are they more likely to react to a defeat of their favored candidate by grabbing their Kalishnikovs and heading back to a familiar cave somewhere to discuss asassination plans? 

But more importantly, there is absolutely no tradition of an effective central government.  The place is a windswept, cold / hot barren place populated by competing, nomadic tribes who seemingly hate everyone who lives on the other side of their particular mountain range or outside their valley.  They worship differently and speak different dialects.  They have hated and fought each other for multiple generations and are deeply suspicious of any central authority telling them what to do.  That is clearly not promising.

And it doesn't help that Karzai's government is corrupt to the core.  At this point Kabul is like the rotting center of a pithy apple - no one outside the city wants anything to do with these guys except the opium overlords who need safe passage to get their crop to market.  The Pakistani's don't even trust him.  No, the whole idea of a "stable democractic government" seems like a stretch.

The Afghan security force is intended to be some 200,000 strong.  The Taliban are estimated to number somewhere around 20,000.  The last I heard the army "needs a lot of work".  Without American foreign aid the government would not be able to afford to pay them and they would head back to the villages.  This sounds an awful lot like the failed attempt to "Vietnamization" that conflict but with troops that are far less motivated.  I don't see how this can have a good outcome.

And the economy of the country is a joke, with a GDP per capita of $1,000, 51st of 54 Asian nations.  Opium poppy production accounts for over a third of GDP.  35% of the country is unemployed.  When fruits and nuts, hides and pelts are the basis of your export economy, you have a problem, and that is reflected in the fact that their total exports are 2 billion dollars per year..  They struggle to provide clean drinking water, housing and electricity.  The villagers welcome Aerican troops as long as we can pay them but the minute the money is cut off they couldn't care less. To think that this country can participate in the global economy is absurd.

So what is the end game for us in Afghanistan?  What is the goal, the achievement of which signals success?  We can look forward to none of the things that would seem to make 10 years of sacrifice - a trillion dollars and 2,000 deaths - make sense.  To spend an additonal 100 billion dollars and lose mre American soldiers while we take 24 months to extricate ourselves seems utterly pointless.  The Risk playing nerds can argue over the efficacy of this strategy or that troop level or how many Taliban remain and congratulate themselves over what they characterize as victories and progress but it is ultimately an illusion that they create and maintain so that they can write books and become fellows of various think tanks and which is as far removed from reality as Hogwarts.  They bravely talk about "polls" of everyday Afghans that indicate that a majority want us to stay, ignoring that 90% of the country doesn't have electricity, let alone a telephone - like they are sitting around watching American Idol in the evening but pause the DVR to answer a few questions about the occupation force patroling their dirt roads and villages.  Right...

The reality is that this is a 15th century country in every way except for Kabul.  These guys just want to herd their goats, pray 5 times a day, smoke a bowl, eat their goat and go to sleep.  That we want to superimpose an entirely foreign and, in large part, unwanted way of life on them begs the question; what the hell are we thinking?  Why? 

Goldman Sachs, Greenspan and other financial criminals…

With apologies to Eddie Ducatti, infamous, highly caffeinated eastern Michigan greaser...

Much excitement in the Elephant herd tonight; Michele Bachman has announced that she is throwing her straight jacket into the ring and will campaign for the Iowa caucuses in what appears to be an attempt to exceed Sarah Palin’s short lived, 15 minute foray into comic absurdity and political futility, and I think she’s just the guy for the job.  She joins Jon Huntsman, by most reports a decent and reasonable man, which, ex post facto, makes his a Quixotic quest indeed, as the last, decent reasonable man elected by republicans was Eisenhower and some people think they only elected him because he wore that snappy uniform well. 

In other news, the criminal swine from Goldman Sachs are still not in jail, although there are vague threats from congress of “increased oversight” of hedge funds, which sounds like the SEC regulators will meet the masters of the universe for cocktails and chicken wings once a month.  I think it’s pretty clear by now that congress’ interest in regulating Wall Street runs to opening the envelopes to make sure the checks are made out correctly.  In a hopeful turn of events, however, there does seem to be some groundswell among the public, expressed mostly as sputtering outrage directed towards bankers, and that might just mean, in a more perfect world, that some of those heartless, shiny-eyed, suspender-wearing overlords will end up in jail.  Of course it wouldn't be a real jail - those guys would probably have conjugal visits with $1,000 hookers - but at least the treacherous fuckers would be off the streets. 

Meanwhile, Alan Greenspan’s legacy is fading as quickly as Milli Vanilli, with a long queue of economists, money managers and CEO types now swearing that they wondered what he was thinking at the time, (1987 – 2006, including the final, sleepy days of Reagan’s second term, Bush I, Clinton and most of Bush II),  and wanted to advise him that ignoring both a stock and real estate bubble happening at the same time was unwise and imprudent but they had other shit to do and everything, plus he wouldn’t return their calls. Poor Greenspan - his star went supernova a while ago and now I picture him left with Andrea Mitchell laying around in her lingerie drinking gin at 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon.   

The funny thing about outrage amongst the great unwashed electorate is that is directed at the very same people who the republican party supports unequivocally – those god damned TARP accepting pigs who ruined the country are the same people beloved by the Ayn Rand bedazzled republican intelligencia who are, in turn, carried on the shoulders of the Tea party rabble for demanding prayer in school, deporting all illegal aliens, treating gay couples like they do the guys who mow their lawns, wrapping themselves in the flag at every opportunity and hating Obama.  Oh, and cutting corporate taxes – don’t forget that. 

That this makes absolutely no sense has somehow slipped past the mainstream press still intoxicated by Palin’s emails and Weiner’s genitals, (although those are sooo last week).  They don’t care a bit about blue collar jobs, as average wages are virtually unchanged for the last 20 years while corporate profits have swelled and grown even in the face of multiple recessions and assorted economic slow-downs.  The Paul Ryans of the world want to turn the medicare that most of these people depends on into “let them eat cake” voucher systems and privatize social security so that they can cut corporate taxes even more – because they, you know, create jobs.  To paraphrase Chevy Chase in Caddyshack; “Yeah…in China”  

In a final middle finger gesture of contempt for workers and genuflection before the bulls and bears, the US Supreme Court, led by Antonin “Fuck the Doomed “ Scalia and his half wit side kick Clarence Thomas led a close 5-4 majority in deciding that women who had been systematically discriminated against by Wal-Mart for years, could not sue as a class because – irony alert! – it was too big!  Too many women had been treated like semi-emancipated slaves by the 1960’s deep south management of Wal-Mart and so therefore…um…er…case dismissed.  Nice one, guys.  But it does dovetail nicely with what surely will be remembered as one of the most infamously stupid and cowardly decisions in the history of the court, the Citizens United case.  So at least you can admire the consistency of intent and single-mindedness of the elphant herd in support of corporate overlords.  It just begs the questions, could Obama actually screw this up badly enough to lose to these guys?  

One, two, three, what are we fightin' for, don't ask me I don't give a damn...

The sight of the unnaturally tanned John Boner and his minions standing up at an ersatz press conference the other day to complain that Obama hasn’t fulfilled his manly presidential duties as it relates to congress’ power to declare war, was another instance in a long line of republican hypocrisy related to the power of the presidency.  Hell, you'd a thought George W. was king, not president.   And as is often the case, the democrats aren’t guilt free in this regard – both parties generally are belligerent to the opposing party when it’s in power, regardless of what’s in the country’s best interest.   But the republicans squeal the loudest when the president is a democrat and are the most quietly compliant when it’s their boy in power. 

Personally I am deeply disappointed in Obama’s foreign policy, in particular his handling of the wars.  And his administration has not covered itself with glory with its reaction to the upheaval in the Middle East this spring but it’s not clear to me that any other president would have done much differently, given the geopolitical complexity of the situation.  Congress is right to question what the hell the end game is in Lybia –it’s certainly not clear.  If you listened carefully to his speech a couple of months ago, trying to explain the US role, it sounded as if it was undertaken for two reasons; convenience coupled with a deep, institutional hatred of Col. Khadafy.  Expediency is not an adequate explanation for engaging the US military in support of foreign policy decisions, even against a camel turd like Khadafy.

But the tsk, tsking and finger shaking is laughable given the republicans’ roster of overly enthusiastic chicken hawks, war mongers and Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore wannbes.  From Reagan’s trumped up dick-measuring exercise – the invasion of Grenada – to cover up his concurrent interventionist debacle, landing the Marines in Lebanon, to Dubbya’s equally dubious and trumped up invasion of Iraq, the cheerleaders on the right have had their pom-poms out and shaking like Hot Lips Hoolihan.  Only when a democrat is in office have they suddenly remembered their constitutional mandate to sign off on sending US troops into combat and started a loud chorus of outraged hurrumphing…

But compounding the comic bleating is their  previously enthusiastic support for killing Khadafy by any means possible and John “I did think she’d be a great VP – seriously” McCain, who was all for landing the Marines again on the shores of Tripoli.  The guy had to be talked out of packing his Patton uniform and swagger stick when he went over there to “assess the situation” when the rebellion started.  

Let’s face it, fellas…congress long ago rolled over and said, “Oh, fuck it”, when it comes to questions of the War Powers Act, and to start acting indignant and protective of your constitutional prerogative now smacks of piling on.  You guys are taking turns treating Obama’s leg like a urinal over everything from his handling of the economy to health care to his freakin'jump shot.  He can’t satisfy you with his Iraq policy or his strategy in Afghanistan – clearly your shallow partisan political aspirations are coloring your running of the country and, although that’s not surprising in the weird, pitiless, 21^st century bitch-slap of a never-ending campaign world, it still makes you look like sniveling idiots.

Pardon me whilst I explain myself briefly...

Someone called me a liberal recently, meaning to insult me, of course.  It didn’t but it did make me stop and think.  And I have to admit that it did annoy me for two reasons; first, the use of the word “liberal” is a mindless and meaningless pejorative invented and bandied about by a slathering mass media too brain dead to be nuanced about anything and only too anxious to use vague categories to cover up a base drive for controversy and hyperbole.   And secondly, because I’m not. 

So in the interest of full disclosure, here’s what I expect from my government, (and what I am quite happy to help pay for):  a guarantee of a minimum level of health care, food , and shelter for every citizen.  This does not mean that it force feeds the “dream of home ownership” to anyone and everyone but that its citizens are not forced to live under bridges either.

A high quality education for every child.  This doesn’t mean every child goes to college, by the way – only that they are given a basic education and allowed the opportunity should they want to go to college.  One of the follies of the last 50 years is the misguided attempt to shove every square-peg child through the round hole of college for no other reason, apparently, than to allow us to wash our hands of them and say we have done our best to see that they are on the road to the American dream.  It is an enormous waste of time and money and causes much unnecessary angst among the intelligencia.  

I expect the government to be able to field a competent defense force.  Given the full range of American interests and responsibilities, I will concede that this will be a sizable undertaking but it will not be the bell-cow of the budget that it is now – not even close. 

I assume and expect that the government will provide a modern, safe, and comprehensive infrastructure, both physical and intellectual, so that we may pursue free travel and commerce across the enterprise.  And while this doesn’t mean that the government owns the airlines, it does mean that it sees to it that they fly the planes right-side-up. 

While the market would eventually deal with a food producer who unwittingly poisons the consumers who buy its products, I would prefer that we don’t rely on that level of capitalist Darwinism to take care of it – I need the government to have some basic requirements for those whose enterprise can endanger the rest of us.  Witness the oil spill in the Gulf.

This is a country blessed with an incredible variety of natural beauty and I expect the government to recognize and protect it so that there are no oil wells in Yosemite Valley, water is clean and safe enough to drink and we don't systematically poison ourselves with toxic gases, chemical waste, or and other disgusting effluents. 

Finally, I expect that the government will see to it that all of its citizens are treated fairly, either through the courts or by force if necessary, (See Alabama, Selma, 1963). 

I don’t want to pay for every hare-brained undertaking sponsored by self serving politicians in the interest of being re-elected or by misguided do-gooders being overly parental.  No thanks.  There is waaaaaaaaaaaay to much money spent on random nonsense and cluttered incompetence – deal with almost any government agency and that becomes obvious.

I don’t think any woman should have to have an abortion but since I was born with a penis and not a womb, what I think isn’t really relevant to the discussion. 

I like guns, mostly because I enjoy the precision of them and find it enormously challenging to fire a WWII bolt action rifle and hit a target 100 yards away, not for personal protection or to fight off the black helicopters when they come for me. 

I’m not much for religion after being raised as a catholic, and find the concept of God to be extremely nebulous to put it kindly.  I believe our life is heaven if we make it so – that’s what’s up to us; an exercise in free will that takes a bit more effort than committing any hateful, sinful thing and then saying a quick prayer to wash the slate clean – Homey don’t play that.  I think it’s a waste of time thinking so much about the next life that you miss this one. 

I don’t think the US has a manifest destiny in the world that puts us ahead of anyone else, period.  I firmly believe that US foreign policy the last 100 years has been one idiotic misstep and short-sighted decision after another.  All the proof one needs is in our relationship with the countries in our own hemisphere – a poisonous stew of paternal imperialism spiced with racism that has resulted in the very countries with whom we should be most closely aligned and allied deeply suspicious of us at every turn.   And a western hemisphere which can and should be able to provide us with virtually all of the resources and markets we need is left an under developed mess barely able to sustain itself.  This, however, doesn’t make me a liberal; it makes me a radical. 

I think a flat tax is not a bad idea, with a tax exemption for incomes under $20,000 per year.  I’m no CPA but you don’t have to be one to know that there is no single thing in the country more deeply reviled and wasteful than the IRS.  I think taxing almost any capital gain is folly and taxing an estate is government theft.   

I routinely rip politicians because I think they think they’re the Ruling Class, after being elected in a democracy, and so they are clearly deranged and not clear on the concept.   It’s just easier to rip the Elephants than the Donkeys because their hypocrisy is more overt and blatant, not because the Donkeys are fundamentally “better”.   

In short, I resent and disown the label, liberal.  Liberals are the carefully dressed folks who drive their Volvo or Mercedes to Whole Foods to buy organic coffee and boutique olive oil and while on their way, discuss the plight of the “poor Mexican illegals”, all the while Raul is back home mowing their lawn for $6.00 an hour and a crew of brown women are cleaning their house – the people who seem uneasy saying the word “Mexican” in polite conversation, as if they were saying “nigger”, and who act like complete assholes if they ever dare to actually visit a foreign country.  Of course, acting like an asshole when you’re overseas is not unique to liberals – they are just usually better dressed. 

As my hero used to say, "When the going gets weird, the weird go pro..."

Interesting news out of Brazil today - apparently riot police were called in to manage a group of protesters who were demonstrating in support of the legalization of marijuana and, when the crowd of stoners became a bit unruly, they fired tear gas into the crowd in an attempt to get them to disburse.  As the demonstration broke up as a result and red-eyed participants ran off in every direction, several of them were overheard saying, "Wow, man...that shit is really harsh.  Must be that nasty sensimilla from Paraguay..."

Also in the news today; the mainstream press continues to report that al Qaeda has "elected" a new leader in the wake of the death of Osama bin Laden, as if these guys booked some rooms at the Islamabad Ramada Inn and, after a bracing continental breakfast of cardboard bran muffins, barely identifiable yellow slime labeled "scrambled eggs", and mystery meat sausage, they convened in the Nanga Parbat Room, sat in neatly lined up folding chairs listening to droning promises of "I promise to bring even more death to the great Satan, America than my opponent, al-Adel", blah, blah blah, they filled out their goatskin ballots and arrived at a winner, after which confetti rained down and rustic tea cups were raised in a mass toast to the newly elected leader's successful drive for worldwide bloodshed and random acts of violence.  Huzzah...!  I can almost see them singing Happy Days Are Here Again wearing straw boaters. 

And in a final fresh blast of Kafkaesque theater, it was announced that Manuel Noriega's Panama mansion has once again found no takers in what must be an amusing scene at the auction house in Panama City.  I hope you remember Noriega as the pock-marked penny ante despot and itinerate drug smuggler who was unfortunate enough to know where all the bodies were buried - literally and figuratively - in the then white hot Iran / Contra affair and who subsequently got unceremoniously shit-canned out of office by the US Marines at the behest of the Reagan / Bush syndicate and spent his last years rotting in a Miami prison cell while his attorney's pleaded in vain for him to be allowed to present evidence that the CIA knew he was laundering money for various drug cartels so it wasn't his fault.  Now his abandoned Central American Versaille sits woefully in the richest section of Panama City, over grown and inhabited by squatters like something straight  out of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel and his story will probably never see the light of day.

  Ironically the mansion is in what is called the San Francisco district of the city and could be had for the bargain price of 2.5 million dollars, the price of a nice but not that nice house in Los Altos Hills but way below what it would take to buy one in Pacific Heights in the real San Francisco.  However, it received no bids at the recent auction.  Maybe folks remember that the Marines blasted it with death metal played over enormous loudspeakers 24 hours a day in an attempt to get Noriega to come out in the aftermath of the invasion and think the place therefore has bad juju.  Location, location, location...

Oh, I wish I was a congressman named Weiner, that is what I'd surely like to be...

After days of dominating a modern news cycle mutated by its own ubiquitous nature into a giant, sucking maw which devours and then disgorges random bits of information in waves, Anthony Weiner today held one last surreal, disastrous news conference in which he clumsily attempted to leave the stage but which itself turned into another in a series of unforgettably gonzo media happenings.  Unbelievably given the nature of his fame, Weiner has managed – unintentionally, surely – to take up more of the new media’s time and energy than the Arab Spring demonstrations that are changing the first quarter of the 21^st century.   His tragic, stupid, deranged story took up 17% of the news between June 6^th and June 12^th and was covered scrupulously to the point of repulsion by every major network till we all wanted to puke.   That is more coverage than anything else.  Think about that…

Wolf Blitzer, a man who has covered the majority of the history-making stories of the last 25 years, now has to suffer the indignity of standing beside a stage where this guy, who is famous for the same kind of stuff that gets winos arrested near elementary schools, bathed in sweat with camera lights bearing down on him unmercifully, tries his best to explain his leaving office as the result of some mysterious compulsion that is out of his control.  Shaaa…right.   George fucking Stephanopolous, senior political advisor to Bill Clinton’s presidential campaign has to stand in front of a camera doing a “Special Report”, interrupting The Young and the Restless, facing whatever viewers not yet retching uncontrollably and trying to put it in “perspective”.    How in the world have we come to this?   Chet Huntley, David Brinkley, and Walter Cronkite are not just rolling over in their graves; they are sitting together somewhere in their underwear, ashtray full of cigarette butts  slamming straight vodka shots until they pass out in a bleary-eyed despair, cursing quietly and trembling.

On another note almost too depressing to contemplate, we have the story out of Arizona about their top education official, a former Hitler-youth committee chairman named John Huppenthal, who has decided – against all available evidence – that an extremely successful Mexican-American studies program nonetheless is illegal because it, “"promotes the overthrow of the U.S. government, promotes resentment toward a race or class of people, are is designed primarily for pupils of one ethnic group or advocate ethnic solidarity.”  Arizona’s own education auditors reported that students enrolled in the class graduate at a higher rate than comparable students who didn’t take the class and that there was no discernable evidence to indicate that the class was in any way illegal or in violation of the law - which was passed last year - or exclusionary in any way.   Herr Huppenthal, however, insists that the classes are un-American and promote one culture to the detriment of all the others.   Now it may be because of old cowboy movies, spring training baseball and that Eagles song about “standin’ on a corner in Winslow Arizona…”  but I thought Arizona was a cool place.  Now with this Eva Peron wannabe, Jan Brewer, ruling with an iron hand, passing the stop, drop and spread ‘em immigration law and acting like half-mad Victoria Barkley, I think the place is an experiment in Aryan thinking run amuck.  That the whole god damned state is on fire might give me pause if I was the one who has set it on its current course;  maybe Mexicans are God’s children after all and  I pissed him off and need to rethink things.

Just another couple broken hearts...

So Bachman was proclaimed by media consensus to be the star of the republican "debate" the other night.  It was quite a scene - kinda like the cabin in the woods after Snow White left to go home to the castle.  "Wait; what are we doing...?"  But how was it that Bachman attained the lofty heights of brief but brightly shining stardom?  By being fiery and having a lot of energy.  Yeah, well so did Mussolini... Oh, and she "knows how to play the game".  To stand out on that stage and win the praise of the whores and carnival barkers in the media is akin to being the Tunisian street vendor who set himself on fire and precipitated the Arab Spring uprising.  Hard not to notice but ultimately the blackened embers get kicked to the curb and the crowd moves on. 

Anyway, enough about that.  Did you catch Jon Stewart laying into the media for their breathless reporting about Sarah Palin's emails?  He had it exactly right - it's no wonder she still walks among us; there are 25 fucking reporters following her everywhere she goes, recording her every confused utterance and semi-coherent comment and posting that shit on page 1. Memo to all the "hard-hitting journalists" out there who are trying to make their career by scooping the other 24 "hard-hitting journalists" sniffing around this woman; she is just a dim-witted dupe created by the republican party to be the mosquito bitten savior of a doomed McCain presidential bid and really, seriously, that's it.  There's nothing else going on in there...sheesh.

I have to also say something about some of these cotton-candy brain democrats who give liberals a bad name…well, liberals deserve it, actually, and the democrats deserve all the scorn they get heaped on them too for the most part.  The only reason I give them any slack is that I don’t think they operate based on pure, naked, blatant self interest, like the republicans do.  They may be misguided about any number of things but you don’t generally find as many bald-faced haters among them and for that they win the “who-sucks-less” competition but not by much.  But it was reported today that a leadership group of congressional democrats are meeting this week at various venues plotting strategy regarding the handling – so to speak – of the problem of Anthony Weiner and his infamous penis.  Fellas, fellas, fellas…please; why are you agonizing over this idiot?  It just reinforces the notion that the democrats are a bunch of indecisive, overly sensitive softies who care more about Tony’s “illness” and “treatment” than winning an election.  Just kick the son of a bitch to the curb and get on with solving some of the country’s problems.  It wasn’t the democratic party who went closet exhibitionist – it was Weiner, a guy with a big schnoze trying to prove that his dick was just as big.  You need to leave him to his elaborate masturbatory fantasies and anonymous 14 year-old girlfriends, tell the world that you want nothing to do with him. Don’t defend him or worry about him at all.  He’s dead to you…

And a final word about Governor Rick Perry of Texas, the swell guy who thinks that a day of prayer in a football stadium is the way to address all of the nation’s problems through a direct up-link to the lord.  It was reported today that a Mexican national on Texas’ death row as a result of what can fairly be described as a questionable conviction, is calling on the World Court to intercede on his behalf.  By treaty, foreign nationals convicted in countries who have signed the treaty are entitled to consular assistance in the form of attorneys or other legal aid and 51 Mexican nationals were not advised of the availability of this assistance before they were tried and convicted and parked on death row.  Now the World Court has called upon the US – as a signatory to the treaty – to honor its responsibility and, at a minimum, delay the executions while the issues are adjudicated.  Now Governor Rick – who clearly believes he has god’s ear in matters of importance to him, (like queers and wetbacks and abortionists and such), doesn’t see it as his duty to assist his country in adhering to a legally binding treaty when it comes to a damn Mexican accused of killing and raping a good young Texas girl, even there is some doubt about the evidence and, ultimately, his guilt.  But his spokes-person said in so many words, “We don’t give a shit what the World Court says – they got no jurisdiction in Texas and no sway over Texas’ sovereignty.”  Well no Rick, you’re right; your little corner of the world can legally do pretty much what you want and I know it has to be pretty easy to play the just-a-dirty-illegal-Mexican card down there along the border these days too.  The Supreme Court even sided with you.  But damn, boy, if I were you I’d give up that time share in Mazatlan for the time being because the Mexicans are pretty pissed about it and not likely to forget.  The next time an American is accused - rightly or wrongly - of a serious crime in Mexico, they're apt to go for the Iranian solution - lock them up and throw away the key.  You better hope it's no one in your family.

And I can’t help thinking that this bible you’re so fond of citing might – if you read the right section - lead you to reconsider the righteousness of your position – that of a pseudo-patriotic Christian man oblivious to both any hint of Christian behavior and the right thing to do for his country.  No, you’d rather puff your chest out, jangle your spurs and show everyone how big your dick is – maybe you and Weiner ought to get a room.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a Mercedes Benz...

Reading the Sunday paper is a traditional experience that the web will never replace but it is rife with danger and the potential for upsetting my mood and pissing me off all day and today was no exception.  

First up is the story about Rick Perry, governor of Texas and by some accounts a stealth candidate for the 2012 republican presidential nomination – a race so far populated by more freaks than a carnival midway.  He has – coincidentally – called for a “day of fasting and prayer for our troubled nation” in August, and invited a bunch of his fellow govs to join him for this “a[political Christian prayer service” in a Houston stadium.  Well YeeeHaw, Rick, just what part of the separation of church and state do you not understand?  Maybe it’s the part about, well, the whole separation thing – about the government not even hinting at the establishment of a particular religion as the chosen one.  Any mullahs coming over that day, Rick?  How about a rabbi or two…?   No?  Hmmm.  Do you think that’s because the web site promoting the event is thematically in line with the American Family Association and its insistence on a strict conformity to “the infallibility of the bible, the centrality of Jesus Christ and, (this is my favorite part; you can practically smell the sulfur), the eternal damnation that awaits non-believers"?  Whoaaa there partner…I know it seems like a good idea now to play to the religious zealots that populate the republican party – the tea party knuckleheads, the white, Christian, gun toting, woman and minority hating, flag waving mob of Obama-ain’t-one-of-us chumps who, for some reason, reflexively support guys like you while you scheme to cut their Medicare benefits and Social Security payments but it may not play that well in all corners of the country.   And I’d be really curious to know exactly what y’all are praying for; death to gays?  Death to baby-killing abortionists?  Death to tree-hugging, Save-the Whales, enviro-freaks?  Feminazis…?   You know, Rick, you might better try to figure out how to stop your fellow god-fearing Texans from smuggling guns into Mexico to enable our brown brothers to be better able to kill each other and anyone unluck enough to be anywhere nearby.   Heaven help us…(so to speak).

I've probably said enough about Anthony Weiner but until this guy gets the hell out of sight he is just one punch line after another.  Today, accompanying a story about him seeking that universal refuge of every scoundrel who soils himself in public - rehab, there is a picture of him walking somewhere, surrounded by slathering reporters and jostling photographers, literally carrying a bundle of dirty laundry.  That’s right – this is not a metaphor or the use of some clever descriptive phrase; he is actually carrying his dirty laundry in public.  I don’t know what to say about this except that this is the rare, extremely unfortunate naughty boy who has ruined his career because of a sex scandal that didn't involve any actual sex – a perversion of the social media phenomenon that is probably all too familiar to 14 year-old girls who have to fend off slightly perverted 30-ish friend requests with both hands.   If our representatives were all subject to scrutiny because of thinking about sex…well those people calling for every politician’s head on a pike would surely have their wish.

And, as there has been virtually every day for the last eight years, there are stories of car bombs and civilian deaths in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia and now most recently, Syria.  If ever there was a clear signal to the US that it is folly to continue with the foreign policy of the last 20 years vis a vis the Middle East it is the unending violence that bedevils these countries on a daily basis.   At some point it has to beg the question; what have we accomplished in the last eight years of interventionist, semi-imperialist foreign policy?   We have avenged a profoundly cowardly attack on our soil that killed 4,000 innocent Americans with the deaths of over 6,000 American troops, including 5 more today in an Iraq that is supposed to be sufficiently stable to allow us to leave but whose government coalition threatens to collapse at any moment.   There have been who-knows-how-many civilian deaths – 100,000?  Trillions of dollars spent with a defense budget proposed to grow by 5 billion more than the pentagon actually wanted by our god-fearing, flag waving republican friends while they continue to slash funding for almost everything else.   Again, what have we accomplished?  I would argue, nothing.  We are no safer from al Qaeda – that’s a red herring dragged across our paths to try to keep our “patriotism” aroused and engaged.   Al Qaeda is just a bunch of angry guys who cling to the woeful notion that they can take the world backwards four or five hundred years and start over the way they want it.  No one but them shares this desire which is why it will ultimately fail. 

The citizens of the Middle East have roused themselves to revolt against the 14^th century tyranny and petty quasi-royalty who have ruled them for so long.  But rather than giving me hope this just looks like the same mob more out of control than ever and less capable of successfully governing themselves as well.   Has our wading chest-deep into this treacherous muck given anyone anywhere a brighter future, made us a more prosperous nation – done anything tangible for you as a citizen?   Please, Barack, if you do nothing else, get us the hell out of there and budget an enormous amount of research and development money to alternative energy creation so we are no longer held for ransom by people who we cannot influence and whose century old animosities we will never staunch, no matter how many $100 dollar bills we use. 

"Freak out in a moonage daydream oooooohhhhh yeah..."

I spent some time this morning lying in bed watching CNN and was struck by trhe thought that politicians are really like admistrative drones crossed with PR guys.  If you're primarily interested in staying in office for as long as possible you have to get pretty good at promotion and promotion is just making sure everyone knows who you are, first and foremost, and then hopefully make them like you as well.  All the time you are practicing obscure and arcane manifestations of Robert's Rules of Order and related ceremonial pogroms.

If you watched this morning, would you have seen any elected person standing in front of a camera and telling the truth about anything?  I sure didn't.  And the people reporting the news are even worse in terms of being shallow apartchiks.  I sometimes wonder if they even know what they're saying.  Last week a Faux News bimbette prattled on about Sarah Palin while a shot of Tina Fey on SNL as the very same Queen of Nonsense was shown over her shoulder.  She didn't flinch - certainly because she didn't notice - and jabbered on.  Maybe nobody at Faux News noticed.  These people almost universally look good but you just know that they are way more interested in how their hair looks for the most part.  There are exceptions but with a 24 / 7 new cycle it's almost inevitable that some of what passes for news is just inconsequential gibberish.

 I think the only people telling the truth in the media now are comedians - they're the only ones who can afford to and, more importantly, the only ones who want to.  Not surprising when you think back to Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and a long line of comedians who had license to poke fun at the politicos, kind of like the stuff that clowns can get away with doing.  Was it Shakespear who said, "much truth is said in jest"?  I guess that's our job.

I survived a trip to see my urologist last week - nice, uh...seeing you again, Bob.  Jokes about urologists are just too easy so I will keep the comedy to a minimum but man, I am tempted.  I currently have a client who is also a urologist and who knows the guy I just went to see.  I mentioned that it was kind of a funny coincidence - my acquiring him as a client a week or so before my appointment - and he asked me to be sure to say Hi to Bob for him, chuckling to himself about Bob's sense of humor.  I told him I would but I wanted to ask him if there was, like, a secret salute or double secret handshake that urologists use when they meet - maybe hand signs like gangs use, only limited to just a couple of fingers.  At least this time he didn't have a resident with him observing like during my first visit.  Nothing like being in the - let's just say undignified - position on the examining table and having TWO guys scrutinizing your plumbing and discussing it.  The worst part was when the doc made some observation and then let his boy, Wang, get a, ahem, feel for himself what he was describing.  Lucky for me he was an Asian dude and hand very small hands.  I spent a couple of disquieting hours wondering if pictures were going to show up on the internet.  I'm not really comfortable with the idea of a wacky urologist but I got a clean bill of health again this year so I have a year to try to think of something funny to say to him next December when I go back to see him.  I'll just think of it like a special treat from Santa as I sit shifting uncomfortably in my seat in his waiting room.

Speaking of...well, showing off your junk to a virtual stranger in a weird, non-bedroom location, Representative Anthony Weiner admitted that he did indeed Tweet his pee-pee to various women he did not know for some reason, after telling everyone stridently and indignantly that he didn't.  There is no truth to the rumor that there were injuries to numerous democrats as they stampeded in all directions trying to get away from him, giving lie to the stereotypical republican accusation that democrats are too liberal because they like to let it all hang out.  In a stance that is difficult to understand, Mr. Weiner insists he won't resign, stating emphatically that the people of New York need him to stay in office and not resign, because doing so would mean leaving New York represented by a bunch of selfish, overly conservative dicks.  He also insisted that, in spite of his flaunting of his penis over the internet, he really is a nice guy.  Now he insists that he's just taking a "leave of absence" from the House to "get treatment".  Man, I do not want to know what that means but him ever coming back from wherever he's going is about as likely as Ali Abdullah Saleh returning to Yemen in anything but a coffin.  No please excuse me - I need to go pour over Palin's emails from when she was governor of Alaska.  I'm sure it's full of insightful and thoughtful analysis of poltical philosophy and the ethical and moral imperitives that should guide our behaviour in a democracy...kinda like Aristotle but with a big fur coat and lipstick...

Eye of Newt and brain of Colter; what a poisonous brew...

I didn't start out expecting to only write about politics; my intention was to write about things that are funny, mostly.  But for the last few days typically superficial and cliché ridden political types cross with the unrelenting scrutiny resulting from the new media world we inhabit and hilarity ensues spontaneously and without warning, overwhelming my desire to write about how it pisses me off to stand in line at a cash register while a little old lady takes five minutes to fish exact change out of her cute little change pouch or how beautiful the Stanford Plateau is in the late afternoon light or how a visit to my urologist cracks me up or how much I love mangoes.  No, I can’t stop thinking about Newt Gingrich, Anthony Weiner, Ann Coulter and Michelle Bachman.   Wow…just seeing all their names together in one sentence boggles the mind.

Poor Newt has been attempting to replicate the success of John Kusich in going from Faux News talking pin-head to actually governing – in Kusich’s case, union busting in Ohio – but suddenly finds himself standing there all alone after virtually his entire re-election campaign staff quit en masse today.  Now it’s not terribly unusual for staffers to come and go – that’s to be expected.  But while Newt and Mrs. Newt were off cruising the Greek islands, his staff quietly decided he wasn’t serious enough about running a competent presidential campaign and dropped him like a bad habit.  Not the most promising of developments for someone who thinks he’s the smartest guy in the party, is a bit of a loose cannon in terms of Elephant orthodoxy and basically talks too much any time there’s a camera within a hundred yards.  He, of course, insists that he will simply start fresh tomorrow and will continue to run an “issues-oriented” campaign.  Uh…yeah…sure, Newt.

What can you say about Anthony Weiner that hasn’t already been said?  The guy was stupid enough and horny enough to Tweet his junk all over the internet, then say it wasn’t his, then admit that he made some serious mis-judgments, (Geez, Tony…ya think…?), then admit that his wife is pregers while his cyber-mistress flogs her 15 minutes of fame like a drunken muleskinner.  You couldn’t make that kind of story up.  The poor demented bastard is refusing to resign and is hoping against all odds that a spaceship lands on the Washington Mall to take a little attention away from him but he is so screwed and irrelevent that he isn’t even top ten on Yahoo’s most searched list.  Abe frickin’ Vigoda is on the list but Representative Lookatmydick isn’t on there.  He doesn’t have to worry about keeping his head down – he is utterly irrelevant and if he didn’t have a vote in the House of Representatives he’d be just another ordinary pervert who probably wasn’t breast fed.  At least Newt’s staffers met with the press and gave a statement before they quit – Weiner’s people are still hiding behind the drapes hoping no one notices their shoes.

Michelle Bachman…Christ; I can’t even believe this fruit cup is deluded enough to think she can carry her own state of Minnesota.  She is the epitome of politicians supported by the tea party clowns; white, ignorant about most everything, dumb as a bag of hammers and a biblical literalist who thinks Jesus is going to be coming back in the next 20 or 30 years.  I don’t know about anyone else, but kind of person scares the shit out of me.  Why support any kind of reasonable foreign policy if the world is just going to end anyway?  And where is China again now?  Don’t those people all speak Chinese?  If global warming is true it must be god’s will so let’s just go with it.  How does one state end up electing her and Al Franken?  But the juicy part of today’s story is about her hiring of wiley old Reagan campaigner, Ed Rollins, former mastermind of below the belt tactics, obfuscation and outright lying and a revered figure in the republican party who must have gotten into the peach brandy or the brown acid because he stuffed one foot halfway down his throat on his first day on the job, bitching about Sarah Palin’s fitness for the presidency when she isn’t even running.  Smooth move, Ed.  Piss off the queen bitch of the party and someone who – god help me for saying this – can influence lots of people to vote for her chosen candidate if she decides to take the money and go work on her tan somewhere next year. 

Finally, speaking of Bitch Queens, we come to the fiercest one of all, Satan in pumps, Ann Coulter.  I’ll say this for her; she doesn’t pussy foot around with niceties and inconvenient forays into reality.  Fuck that.  She is a foul, loathsome, stranger to the truth but she isn’t one for air kisses and slap fighting.  She the person in a fight who stabs you in the nuts and I respect that.  I also think she’s a self aggrandizing media whore whose fidelity to her stated guiding principles is suspect and who seems to really dig being the person that fat old republican guys with lots of nose hair jerk off to when they are not too busy reading Field and Stream.  Her whole, “Liberals are evil, hateful, lazy, un-American, fuzzy thinking minority lovers” schtick is tiresome in the extreme but she’s nothing if not determined to find kindred souls among the Hate-Obama Tea Party knuckleheads and I wish her all the best and I hope she becomes a prominent member of Mitt Romeny’s campaign. 

I’ll try to write about something lighter tomorrow…

"The lunatic is in my brain..."

That line from Pink Floyds legendary Dark Side of the Moon album kept popping into my head this weekend as I thought about what I wanted to write about and continually came back to Sarah "Man She's a Hot Republican Babe" Palin and her somewhat off kilter interpretation of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.  How someone that addled on a regular basis can be taken seriously as the mayor of a tiny reindeer turd of a place like Wasilla, Alaska is itself a stunning indictment of the intelligence of the American voter.  And now she is humping across country in her version of Willie Nelson's stoner bus, stopping randomly here and there to appear at a knot tying contest or a "Most Beautiful Pig" judging, presumably testing the waters for a presidential run in 2012.  How loopy is that?

What is it about modern American politics that makes it seem like a casual stroll down the midway of an alien carnival?  Where are the dignified statesmen, (or women) - the people who can inspire us to do great things and think of someone other than ourselves?  It seems like there are so many things that have changed so fast but the combination of an American public dumbed down and distracted by the cult of celebrity and the massive amount of information washing over us every day - every minute of every day - seems to have created a political class long on sound bites and short on practical, reasonable, cooperative solutions to issues with which we're confronted.  It seems they are less and less interested in seriously addressing issues  in any kind of problem solving way - most seem more interested in scoring political points to promote themselves and defeat the other party.  But to what end?

If perpetuation of power is the aim then there really is no point.  In that context, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman and Mr. Weiner who seems unnaturally interested in showing off his dick seem like the ultimate expression of this "means to no end"; the logical outcome of 20 years of political madness.  Sadly, Weiner showing off his junk seems like the perfect metaphor for what passes for political discourse.  Clearly there is a sizable portion of the countr that wants nothing more than to make sure Obama isn't re-elected.  You have to wonder what causes that level of antagonism.  I heard a serious discussion the other day on the issue of raising the debt ceiling and the fact that the republicans are willing to hold the country for ransom in order to make sure that doesn't happen.  They actually are putting forth the proposition that the average person is deeply concerned about this and therefore it it their duty as representatives of the people to act in patriotic rigor to save us from ourselves.  What unmitigated horseshit.

The average person wants a job.  It reminds me of the kind of blather used to justify various interventionist activities over the last 40 years - you know; the idea that we have to defend and promote democracy because people everywhere are yearning to be free and want to be able to vote and get a cheeseburger.  Please...most of the world just wants to eat good food, drink clean water and take a crap somewhere so they don't have to trip over it.  They don't give a damn about high minded ideas of democracy and freedom as they are constituted in the foreign policy rhetoric of politicians.  They're freakin' hungry. 

If you drill down deep, Americans want the same thing.  Of course, here it's complicated because this is a damned complicated place.  But why are people anti-immigrant?  Because they think immigrants take their jobs and use to much of the taxes they pay for health care, etc.  That reduces the wealth of those Americans and that's what they don't like.  They want to be able to go buy stuff.  Palin talks about the second amendment all the time, like she's Jeremiah Johnson's bitch, but to be honest most people don't give a shit about that either.  They're pissed at the government because they too use too much of OUR money and for Christ's sake, they give it to the god damn immigrants.  Or poor people.  Anyway, to sombody not like them so to hell with the government and lets throw some tea over the side and show the bastards. 

What is sickening is that there is an enormous political class that seeks to appease and tranquilize these people by playing to these base instincts in the most shallow and disingenuous way.  Then they go on the Sunday morning news programs and try to sound high minded; "Well, the country can't" this or "The American people want" that.  It's self serving nonsense for the most part.  Does a majority of America really consider the Taliban a pressing security issue?  Seriously...?  How about the Lockheed-Martin propsal for a new advanced strike fighter plane - the one with the price tag of 1 TRILLION-fucking dollars!  Last time I checked, the Taliban doesn't have a fighter plane that can threaten our dominance of the skies over southwestern Asia.  Hell, they're pratically throwing rocks.  They fill an empty Coke bottle with gasoline and wire it to a TV remote and kill American soldiers, all the while hiding in the bushes and giving us their version of the finger.  And the big 9 American defense contractors push and shove to see who can grab and hold onto of the choicest teat to suckle in the name of providing for the common defense.

Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid and John Boner and Nancy Pelosi ought to be ashamed of themselves but that presuposses a level of awareness that's yet to be in evidence.  "The lunatic is in the hall..."

Obama doesn't suck, or why I hate republicans...

That hysterical screeching you may have heard this morning was probably the once and future presidential candidate, Mitt "The Wit" Romney, son of former Nixon cronie George Romney, a widely vilified figure of early 70's facism and erstwhile governor of Michigan, back when it wasn't a failed state.  Mitt took a run at the presidency last time around, only to be hoisted on the red-hot petard of his own version of government health care devised while he served as governor of Massachusetts.  Well, that and the fact that the mean-boy far right was deeply suspicious of him, thinking he was a softy at heart and probably sympathetic to all sorts of distasteful things like immigrants.  So Mitt took off the kid gloves this morning and loudly proclaimed Obama a failure for his inability to improve an economy struggling to get to its feet like a second class boxer gone down for the last time in round nine.  Well Mitt, I'm here to tell you that "failure" might be a little strong and, in case you're interested, to explain why.  Sarah, Michelle, some of you other blithering idiots; pay attention cuz this will take a few minutes.

Since the republican party as a whole is, as usual, slavishly lapdancing for whatever fiendish corporate rainmaker is throwing the most dollar bills, they probably know full well that the US economy is in deep shit and unlikely to recover fully for a long, long time, if ever.  But they have a vested interest in making it be Obama's fault, as if he has been sole responsible for the situation in which we find ourselves.  Shame on you guys and gals; political yearning and expediency doesn't forgive all such sins, you know.  But in the hope of stirring some reasonable political discourse, I will put forth this brief but stunningly accurate summation.

After WWII we were the last country standing, in an industrial sense, and therefore had the run of the place.  We could make all manner of stuff and, because everybody in the US was working, someone would buy it.  It didn't matter that much if it made sense - witness gigantic tail fins on autos and the emergence of electric can openers - it would sell.  And with no foreign competition quality didn't matter any more than a sense of good design.  The party hats were on and everybody had a cigarette.

 Over the intervening 60 years a lot has changed.  As other nations recreated their industrial capacity the captains of industry, knowing how to make a buck and exploit people at the same time, moved more and more of their operations to foreign producers.  Or foreign producers sprang up on their own, chasing greenbacks for all they were worth.  One way or another, much of the US industrial capacity went into decline. Americans by this time were used to the idea that they were the chosen ones and entitled by God to have the good life - two cars, mom at home with the kids and dog, color TV's and a stiff martini at the end of the day.  But a problem started to appear when fewer and fewer manufacturing jobs were available because now there wasn't enough money for every middle class family to have all that stuff and buy a new car every two years, etc.  So we also started to build things like highways and bridges and airports, all while promoting the American Dream of homeownership.  Now the middle class jobs would be carpenters and plumbers and all manner of construction workers.  That worked for a while.

But the income of the middle class worker has been stagnant in real terms since the 70's.  Living the dream American life was slowly more and more enabled by the sale of cheap goods from overseas - from those manufacturing facilities we had decided weren't worth keeping any more, or weren't sensible from a cash flow persepctive.  Go to Wal-Mart and virtually everything you buy is from China.  Workers there make $2.00 a day churning out plastic containers and cheap textiles, pots and pans - and the American middle class can continue to have the illusion of the American Dream because they can go shoping and buy stuff.  Wall Street has been on an unrelenting upward trajectory since the 60's.  The corporate clowns are getting rich and have somehow sold the notion that they shouldn't have to pay taxes and the Tea Party knuckleheads are their storm troops, agitating for less government even as many of them become more dependent on it.  This part of the story I really can't explain.  It almost seems to me that the racism that lies barely hidden under the big old flag the tea party people are waving has trumped their own best interests and that is truly hard to understand.  Kinda like using a .45 to get the fly off your nose... 

The housing bubble was unsustainable and once it burst it revealed that the dream American life was a hollow shell built on a whole series of illusions.  For ten years Americans had been living off their homes as faux equity and loose credit provided splurge money akin to the bowl of coke at the party at the rich guy's house.  Hey, it's free right?  Why shouldn't I have some? We've got rich and poor but the middle class is shrinking to the point of disappearing and yet they seem to support the Paul Ryans of the world who want to cut their benefits while cutting taxes for the wealthiest 1% of taxpayers and increasing the defense budget.  WTF? 

Back to today - or better yet, 2009 - when Obama actually started trying to govern when the shit was still flying off the fan blades and we were on the verge of a mass curl into the fetal position, and fear and dread were thick in the collective vibe everywhere.  Two thirds of the economy is consumer spending but the consumer wasn't buying "stuff" anymore; they didn't have the money, their house wasn't worth shit anymore and their 401k was about to be decimated.  If the consumer doesn't spend we're dead meat and we've all been too freaked out to do much of anything but hunker down and cross our fingers.  That's what Obama faces now in trying to "fix" the economy - people with no savings, no equity, no buying power and no job.  And the elephants say they could do better if only we'd agree to some more tax cuts for corporations.

The elephants all say that lower taxes are the solution and while we're at it, let's cut off services for the poor and run all the illegals off and maybe some of the legal immigrants too - hell, they're foreigners.  And cut waste from the schools and salaries for the damn teachers who can't seem to teach our kids anything anyway.  But don't touch the defense department because - well, we're busy as hell fighting for our freedom in the freakin' desert in godforsaken Afghanistan and plus we also need new aircraft carriers and a new 21st century fighter plane because the bad guys hanging around in the caves get really scared when those suckers fly over going really fast. 

On one hand I almost want to see some donkey of a republican win in 2012 because for sure we could say I told you so, you stupid bastard.  But that's too much like what they want to happen, for people to just say, fuck it, and stop paying attention to them, let them have their way.  I think I'd rather see if by some miracle we can turn the corner enough to get our feet under us and find a way to proceed to the end of the century without turning into France under Louis the XVI.  But no matter what, we need to understand that this ain't going to be like it was for the last 30 years; we've been fooling ourselves into thinking that we're the only country great enough to have Levis jeans, Sony Playstations and indoor toilets. That ship has sailed...