Satan’s favorite republican pin up girl and the masturbation inspiration for thousand - well, probably hundreds - of deeply disturbed and camo-clad militia members across the country, Ann Coulter, had her nasty partisan potty-mouth screed bleeped by MSNBC yesterday because she called John McCain either a douchbag or a dickweed, it’s not clear which. I want to stand up for her rights as a political commentator and say bleeping her was unforgivable and a terrible overreach by the politically correct, left-leaning MSNBC and host Joe Scarborough. I think if the bony-assed skank wants to call McCain a douchbag, I will defend to the death her right to do that. As one foul-mouthed political satirist to another, I say Huzzah! Annie. Your pseudo-intellectual right wing blather is music to my ears. And of course your relentless lashing out at liberals and lefties everywhere can be justified by the nasty things they say about you.
After all, Al Franken was less than flattering to you, calling you “the reigning diva of the hysterical right”, an accurate but mean spirited description that you worked hard to earn and which is well deserved. Your clueless loyalty to George W. Bush, an equally clueless empty suit who was a real conservative like I’m a real astronaut, qualifies you for the Lazy Blowhard Journalist Hall of Fame. Memo to Annie; sitting around the Ritz-Carlton in Georgetown drinking Mojitos is obviously keeping you from achieving the level of journalistic excellence you clearly think you’ve attained. But that’s no reason to call you a parasitic bitch.
I’ll bet you thought it was really cute to call Ted Kennedy “human pestilence”, although that begs the question; what does that make you? A useless and neurotic bleach-blonde bulimic bimbo publicity whore? And you calling Newt Gingrich a chubby dork, that was probably just good natured teasing between two like-minded republican foot soldiers girding for battle against the dark and evil forces of liberal extremism, atheism and homosexuality…and pot smoking…don’t forget pot smoking. You confided in Laura Ingraham that you think Michele Bachman or Herman “Fingers” Cain would be better candidates that Newt would. I have to say, Ann, that sounds an awful lot like one fake-academic gasbag being territorial in the face of a threat from another fake-academic gasbag. After all, if you really think Bachman or Cain are able to find their way to the hotel bar by themselves, it calls into question your whole schtick as the learned voice of conservative wisdom and makes you look like an overcompensating, narcissistic slut-princess with Daddy issues.
But that’s just name calling and we’re above that, aren’t we Ann? You once claimed to be “more of a man than any liberal” and had this to say about others of your sex…or at least the sex that you appear to be:
"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it's the party of women and 'We'll pay for health care and tuition and day care -- and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?'"
Dang, girl; it’s no wonder real manly men think you’re hot – you know, open- carry, anti-immigrant, racist homophobic Timothy McVeigh types with two digit IQ’s. Maybe you should take a testosterone supplement and just give up the pretense altogether. Then you could get yourself a deer rifle and some Carhart overalls and join the other geniuses patrolling the Canadian border. Protect and defend, eh?
But seriously, Ann; I applaud you for your outspokenness and your forthright way of informing the body politic and furthering the political debate in this country. Obscenity laced tirades and provocative and demeaning insults are as American as apple pie. Please just keep on being you…you’re an inspiration.
After all, Al Franken was less than flattering to you, calling you “the reigning diva of the hysterical right”, an accurate but mean spirited description that you worked hard to earn and which is well deserved. Your clueless loyalty to George W. Bush, an equally clueless empty suit who was a real conservative like I’m a real astronaut, qualifies you for the Lazy Blowhard Journalist Hall of Fame. Memo to Annie; sitting around the Ritz-Carlton in Georgetown drinking Mojitos is obviously keeping you from achieving the level of journalistic excellence you clearly think you’ve attained. But that’s no reason to call you a parasitic bitch.
I’ll bet you thought it was really cute to call Ted Kennedy “human pestilence”, although that begs the question; what does that make you? A useless and neurotic bleach-blonde bulimic bimbo publicity whore? And you calling Newt Gingrich a chubby dork, that was probably just good natured teasing between two like-minded republican foot soldiers girding for battle against the dark and evil forces of liberal extremism, atheism and homosexuality…and pot smoking…don’t forget pot smoking. You confided in Laura Ingraham that you think Michele Bachman or Herman “Fingers” Cain would be better candidates that Newt would. I have to say, Ann, that sounds an awful lot like one fake-academic gasbag being territorial in the face of a threat from another fake-academic gasbag. After all, if you really think Bachman or Cain are able to find their way to the hotel bar by themselves, it calls into question your whole schtick as the learned voice of conservative wisdom and makes you look like an overcompensating, narcissistic slut-princess with Daddy issues.
But that’s just name calling and we’re above that, aren’t we Ann? You once claimed to be “more of a man than any liberal” and had this to say about others of your sex…or at least the sex that you appear to be:
"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it's the party of women and 'We'll pay for health care and tuition and day care -- and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?'"
But seriously, Ann; I applaud you for your outspokenness and your forthright way of informing the body politic and furthering the political debate in this country. Obscenity laced tirades and provocative and demeaning insults are as American as apple pie. Please just keep on being you…you’re an inspiration.
Don't you think you're being a little hard on poor Annie? "Boney-assed skank"? "narcissistic slut-princess with daddy issues"?
ReplyDeleteNah. (E.D.)
As you give, so shall you receive. I guess that was the point of the post...
ReplyDelete