Gingrich and Romney in a southern-fried Death Match...

Rick "Which state is this again?" Perry, in announcing his withdrawal from the presidential campaign, gave a speech in which he said," what we need in Washington is a government hat's humbler." Then apparently not recognizing the irony, announced that he was endorsing Newton Leroy Gingrich, a man well known for being a humble and self-effacing public servant, along with a world class historian and consultant, but not a lobbyist; a man who can build bridges between the races and who recognizes the value of reasoned and respectful political discourse.   Perry was last seen heading for the airport in the back seat of a limo clutching a half empty bottle of mescal...

By the way, could you ever imagine, in your most hallucinatory delusions, Newt Gingrich as some kind of Hugh Hefner, thong-and-smoking-jacket-wearing swinger?  The idea of Newtie sidling up to his 2^nd wife – the one for whom he left a cancer-stricken first wife in the hospital – and telling her that his devote catholic mistress, Callista, wanted to share his chubby ass and – who knows – maybe have a little ménage action, is so repulsive it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I stop to ponder it.  Of course now that Newtie has settled in with his fleshy third strike and gone to god for forgiveness, he is outraged and appalled – appalled I tell you - that anyone would bring up something so tawdry as the disturbing tableau just described. His angry rebuke of John King at the debate last night was hilarious for its pandering insincerity.  He looked like a recently neutered Pekinese that someone had left too long in a parked car. 

What may be even more repugnant is how his unsettling mixture of racism, right-wing social engineering, semi-coherent anti-government bombast and Obama hatred is received by the mouth-breathing republican audiences in South Carolina. Angry criticism of the (pick one), liberal, left-wing, anti-American, elitist media is almost guaranteed red meat for the pissed off white crowds Gingrich is courting and he isn’t shy about exploiting that opportunity.  The most recent polls indicate he got the bit between his teeth and is charging for home, wide-eyed and foaming at the mouth, so I’m sure he’s hoping to god his ex-wife goes away for a couple of days so he doesn't break his leg before he gets to the finish line.

Romney, on the other hand, spent the last 24 hours sputtering like C-3PO talking to Jaba the Hut in trying to explain not releasing his tax returns, his off-shore accounts in the Cayman Islands, and his enthusiastic embrace of unadulterated capitalism.  Indeed, anytime he has to go a bit off script he seems to freeze and reflexively sputter gibberish in a way that – sadly for him – doesn’t inspire confidence in him taking the proverbial red phone call at 3:00 AM.  Whether during the debates facing Gingrich, the snarling Pekinese and Saint Santorum or out on the stump trying to handle questions thrown at him wily-nilly from the audience, clearly improvisation isn’t his strong suit.  He certainly doesn’t inspire confidence with stammering and rambling explanations.   

Mitt’s handlers are clearly uneasy heading into the 11^th hour, and with good reason; he can release his tax returns and justify Bain Capital’s particular brand of merciless capitalism and his obfuscation may pass muster.  But stashing money in the Cayman Islands begs the question; what the hell is that all about?  It’s not clever investing or skillful use of the plentifully available IRS loopholes – it’s more like Tony Montana hoarding bags of cash so the cartels can’t find them.  That’s a little bit harder to explain – so far the jury is out whether we’re going to buy it or not.  In the meantime Mitt’s Super-PAC is furiously dumping money into the South Carolina media economy, trying to fend off the resurgent Gingrich juggernaut and continue on as the inevitable nominee. He and his people are now whispering that, of course, he never really expected to win South Carolina and that’s probably true a month ago.  ut a Gingrich win in South Carolina changes the game considerably. A Romney win and Gingrich likely heads home to a winter of Callista softly stroking his fevered brow as he tells her and anyone else who’ll listen that he should have been the nominee. 

While all this has been going on a clearly confident Obama told Boner and McConnell to eat shit and die over the ill-advised Keystone Pipeline project.  He immediately was bombarded with criticism and earnest shouting about jobs and the economic health of the country, to which he replied by going to democratic fundraiser and singing “Let’s Stay Together”.  This is a man who has surveyed the field and come to the conclusion – like the hidden republican hierarchy and propaganda machine – that it really doesn’t matter much which one of these guys wins, he’s looking good. 

I  was just having this discussion with what can only be described as an angry and disillusioned progressive friend of mine who was excoriating Obama for all of his failures and broken promises, fervently promising not to vote for him in the fall.  I asked him what I’ve asked all of my angry and impatient progressive friends; did you really think that Obama could cure all of the ills of eight years of confused and constitutionally questionable presidential leadership in less than four years? You’re not sitting on the couch with a remote in your hand; you can’t just get sick of what’s on one channel and start surfing.  If he’s reelected – particularly if the democrats can gain some seats in the house and keep the senate then I think you’ll see more of his promises kept.  He’s not going to win every fight, nor should he.  But he’s spent the last two years pulling a tired donkey up a pretty steep hill and he’s half way there. 

The primary tomorrow will be interesting but unless Romney wins in a runaway, the show will go on into Florida and the next act.