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Saturday, January 14, 2012

Newt smites the Bain Capital Boogey Man

Rick “The Saint” Santorum has received the endorsement of key evangelical leaders, boosting his candidacy in South Carolina to a tie for third, a mere 20 percentage points behind Mitt Romney and tied with an extremely angry and frustrated Newt Gingrich for fourth place.  So he’s got that going for him…which is nice. 

Gingrich, the bombastic and pompous right wing idiot, has spent the last 10 days or so wetting himself repeatedly and then loudly complaining that no one is willing to change his diaper.  I suppose if I were a republican primary voter I might very well choose the bland and empty-headed Mitt Romney over the surly blowhard Georgia racist Newt Gingrich myself so him being in 4th place is no great surprise.  Especially since he has completely overplayed the hand dealt him – Mitt’s corporate raider past – by creating the most ridiculous pile of filmed hyperbole since John Travolta read the script for Battle Field: Earth and thought it sounded good. 

Once Newt is safely on the sidelines, properly medicated and restrained so he can’t hurt himself, he should watch how Obama rips Mitt a new colon over the very same issue.  It won’t be pretty and you can safely bet that Mitt’s “I created 100,000 jobs” schtick will sound as hollow as Rick “I thought you said I could win” Perry’s head.   Sure, it’s a tricky issue for republicans, most of who seem to belong to the “Thank you sir, may I have another” school of deep economic thought and can’t or won’t recognize that they are unemployed because of the Wall Street geniuses that they are so pissed got a bail out but who are the ones championing Mitt.  Confusing, no? 

It couldn’t be more conveniently teed up for Gingrich; an economic collapse brought on – at least in large part ,if not entirely – by masters of the universe like Mitt thinking ”it’s not wrong if they don’t catch me”.   In the days before the party was bought and sold by corporate interests – guys who took the government bailout money and showed their gratitude by sending checks to anyone who promised to run against Obama – republicans were god fearing folks, patriotic and sensible with a dollar, who worked hard and believed in the American Dream.  Sure, their dream was usually a little whiter than some others’ dreams but nonetheless recognizable as quintessentially American.  They would appreciate and understand that punks in $2,000 suits playing fast and loose with their money probably wasn’t a good thing.  Now, somehow, they’re dead set on eating their young and, in a blind fury of self-destruction, electing a candidate whose whole life is based on the stone-cold Ayn Randian notion that profit is the highest and best goal and people be damned.  Gingrich is right for once but he went completely off the tracks with midnight showings of a 30 minute Leni Rifenstahl epic.  Nice try Newt...

Capitalism has become an unassailable shibboleth in this country, much like democracy. Both have much to recommend them.  Democracy allows for all to have a say in governance and, despite what John Stockle thinks, it’s a noble idea – messy and frustrating but noble.  Capitalism, on the other hand, left on its own, will destroy as often as it creates wealth, and needs oversight to truly serve the citizenry.  Oil companies would drill anywhere there is a hint of oil, factory owners would work people 60 hours a week as long as it increased profit, Newt would hire children to work as janitors…etc.   Indeed, Romney’s defenders among the republican intelligencia have repeated over and over the last couple of days that the natural cycle of robust capitalism involves a certain amount of strategic destruction and that’s a good thing and as it should be.  Tell that to the guy with a mortgage and kids and expiring unemployment benefits.  Therein lays the path to neutering Mitt.  Not some ersatz propaganda film running in high school gymnasiums but real honest and sincere concern for that guy.  Newt’s real problem is, he doesn’t have any.  If the polls are correct, South Carolina may well send Newt home to brood over his history books and 20 year old scotch and we’ll be rid of him for good.

For his part, Saint Santorum has spent the weekend basking in the support of 150 prominent evangelicals, who voted overwhelmingly to endorse him after considering Perry and Gingrich and, nominally, Romney.  Family Research Council shill Tony Perkins made the announcement, jabbering on about how Santorum was the very essence of what was important to the gathering, a damning indictment of their collective political instincts if not their overall intellect.  The FRC is a political organization with a sheen of overweening religiosity so it’s puzzling how a 2/3 majority can throw their weight behind a candidate who almost anyone – probably including them – can see can’t win.  Dazed, sweater vest-wearing Santorum – should he end up running against Obama - would precipitate a re-election landslide the likes of which hasn't been seen since flailing and impotent democrats decided to run George McGovern against Nixon.   The cynical among us might see this as a simple expediency to advance the collection of donations and hence support a righteous lifestyle complete with overseas junkets and big ass houses.  It’s hard to say.  Maybe it’s one last futile gesture before the apocalypse so they really don’t give a shit.  It establishes their credentials with the lord and that’s almost as good as him winning the election.

Finally, we’d be remiss if we didn’t puzzle aloud over the strange mid-campaign bail out by Ron Paul.  Ron decided he was tired and went home to Texas to ride his bike and relax for a few days, an unconventional approach to campaigning and a sure sign that he knows full well it wouldn't make sense for him to bang his head against the wall trying to beat Romney and is pretty confident of his relative position in the pecking order.  Hell, if he’s going to finish second no matter what, why not relax a little down home in his 7,000 square foot house.   Everybody can relate to that, right?  Have a little BBQ, toss back some JD and get ready for Florida and long flight to Nevada.   And maybe toast Newt and Perry for trying. 

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