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This blog is political satire and the opinion of one lonely dog at the back fence. Nothing written in this blog is to be taken seriously until tomorrow at the earliest. At that time you may consider taking the previous days' blog seriously if you choose, however careful consideration should be given to this decision as it is, after all, serious.



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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Do you take me for a fool; do you think that I can't see...

For the last couple of days I have been thinking about a couple of things that are prominent in the media and closely related; the Occupy Wall Street protests and, more specifically, the reaction to them, and the republican presidential candidates’ descent into madness. 

The politburo that is Faux News has spent the  last two weeks, first down playing it, then ridiculing it and now as it is seemingly gaining some traction, criticizing and demonizing it.  This is encouraging.   The other day Eric Cantor gave us a sputtering blast of hyperbole, saying he was fearful of the “growing mobs” in various cities across the country, channeling the ghosts of John Mitchell and Spiro Agnew.  And Herman Cain, former pizza magnate and CEO, showed his deep empathy with working stiffs everywhere by saying, “Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich.  Blame yourself.”  Brilliant.  Given that the tea party rabble was initially motivated by Washington’s bailout of Wall Street and the “big banks”, I wonder how that will play with them; assuming they’re paying attention.

Several prominent tea party-backed members of congress scoffed at the notion that the Wall Street protests and protesters have anything in common with their own movement, saying essentially that, well, the difference is, they’re wrong and we are right.  They completely miss the fact that the protests have basically grown organically and, while the major unions are sympathetic, they didn't start the protests; the protests were started and are being sustained by average people who are finally pissed enough to get out in the streets and make a point about who the bad guys are in the continuing financial debacle and, just as important, their complicity in it not getting better.   The initial tea party protests were about government run amock and the bailout of Goldman Sachs and Bank of Americas but I guess they were angriest that the government did the bail out; Occupy Wall Street is angry that, now that they have been bailed out, the evil bastards have turned on us all like a rabies-infected wolf nursed back to health – an 21st century take on biting the hand that feeds you, except they've gotten away with it. 

Aside from the normal “talking heads” blather and semantic masturbation, there are more reports every day about how difficult retirement will be for millions of us, now that our pensions are being stolen away in the name of good governance, our 401k’s have had to be spent to pay upside down mortgages and our jobs have been ruthlessly shipped overseas where starving people with no indoor plumbing eagerly line up to be exploited.    It seems people who never dreamed of having to get in the streets with a sign are beginning to realize that their lives have been blown up and the guys with the detonators are upstairs in the corner office playing hide the salami with their secretaries and plotting new ways to steal the village chickens. 

And the obvious cluelessness of those called upon to comment is hilarious and unsettling at the same time.  On Faux News there was a comment that these protests will continue “until the deficit is reduced” a hilariously wrong -headed interpretation and more evidence that these clowns are just a bunch of shills for the targets of the protest and the republican party that continues to empower them.   Jason Linkins, in his Huffington Post blog says it perfectly; “but it's a result of Obama being on the wrong side of that war, (class warfare) -- under the Obama administration, corporate profits have been jaw-dropping. Occupy Wall Street isn't an army ready to fight a new class war, it's an encampment of refugees from the losing side of the last one."


On the campaign trail, there is starting to be whiff of fatigue and “who gives a shit” as the 8 or 10 or 25 remaining republican candidates try desperately to hold on long enough to raise some more money to get to the next town to try desperately to raise some money, to…well, you get the idea.  Aside from Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich, both of whom seem to be less interested in being elected president than they are in selling books and commemorative coffee mugs, there continues to be a mad scramble for money or headlines or both by the confused and awkward prom dates the right is left with now that, one after another, those deemed more attractive and electable have decided they would rather stay home and wash their hair than bother trying for the White House at this point in history.    

Michele Bachman this week made a grim campaign appearance in Iowa in front of a dwindling number of her fans and admirers, exhorting them not to settle in choosing a candidate but to choose someone who is “pro-life, pro-god and pro-marriage”.   Her faltering campaign is sinking fast; meanwhile she says she would reinstate Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell, because the military is no place for sex.   She has introduced a bill, universally ridiculed, that would require a woman choosing to get an abortion to have an ultra sound anyway, complete with audible heartbeat, a procedure with no medical benefit whatsoever and the epitome of government intrusion into our private relationship with both our physician and our god.  It’s nice to know that by Thanksgiving she’ll be back in Minneapolis using her time more sensibly, trying to turn gay men back into straight men and giving Marcus backrubs and helping him sort out his feelings.

Newt, meanwhile, appeared on Faux News and laid out a clear but, sadly, Gestapo-like plan to drag any judges who make a ruling he doesn't like in front of a congressional committee / interrogation chamber, a spectacularly inappropriate flaunting of the constitution from someone who purports to be a member of academia; seems more like the actions of the consummate snake-oil sales man.  This sort of extra-constitutional manipulation seems to be the flavor of the month with the republicans these day, as Batman & Robin…uh, I mean John Boner and Eric “I’m scared shitless of the nasty protesters” Cantor demonstrate daily, with the able assistance of McConnell and Paul “No, really; it will work” Ryan. 

At the Family Values Hate-fest, Rick “I don’t even know this guy” Perry was introduced by Robert Jeffress, who called Mormonism a cult, just to get things started off on an unambiguous note.   Rick has been busy trying to figure out how to reconcile his vision of government with the rampant pay-to-play gig he had going on in Texas, and the continuing revelations that even Michele Bachman is talking about.  And of course his inept attempts to get both feet in his mouth almost every time he speaks publicly complicate this task enormously.

Huntsman, in the straw poll associated with this exercise in pandering, got exactly 0% of the vote, demonstrating both his limited appeal to republican primary voters and the characteristic that makes him the least noxious of the whole crew. 

Santorum gets my vote as the guy I least want anywhere near the big board in the room with the red phone and the button.  The guy is nuts.

It seems to me more and more likely that there is something fishy going on in terms of the choice of candidates available.   Obama couldn't be more vulnerable and with good reason.  He got dealt a shitty hand initially and then folded about 20 consecutive times before he finally has decided that maybe he should stop negotiating with these clowns who keep killing the hostages every time he pays the ransom.   But that’s not nearly enough; not yet.  You would think that the best and brightest on the right would be clamoring for a chance to win the big prize but instead we get this bewildered flock that keeps wandering around the country in a roving dunce contest.  It doesn't add up and I can’t help thinking that there is more going on here than meets the eye. 

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