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This blog is political satire and the opinion of one lonely dog at the back fence. Nothing written in this blog is to be taken seriously until tomorrow at the earliest. At that time you may consider taking the previous days' blog seriously if you choose, however careful consideration should be given to this decision as it is, after all, serious.



(For some reason if you Google Barking Labrador you get a bunch of dog training sites - Duh...- and one direct link to this blog. But it is a post from June 2011 and somewhat out of date. If you are telling any of your friends about the blog, please direct them via the full URL - http://www.barkinglabrador.blogspot.com/. Thanks)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

How to Succeed in Fund Raising without Really Knowing How to Do Anything...

While anyone who has had to get a building permit to move their kitchen sink can empathize with those who say that pointy-headed bureaucrats wield too much influence on day-to-day life for our economy – or anything else, for that matter – to run smoothly, the constant barrage of republican campaign rhetoric for a reduction in “onerous regulation” as a means to economic nirvana flies in the face of the various catastrophic disasters we’ve seen over the last year caused by industry run amock after giving hand jobs and doughnuts to erstwhile government regulators for years.  The nexus of profit, corruption and incompetence too often leads to the mine collapsing or the drilling rig exploding or a generation of cows with two udders yielding milk that glows in the dark. 

But the republican corporate foot-soldiers like Eric Cantor and nominee-in-waiting, Mitt Romney still insist on treating “over-regulation” as the monster under the bed in describing what we should fear most as the economy stumbles inexorably along in a middling “still breathing” status.  Oh, and in case anyone forgot, taxes are too high on the “job creators”, (the single most dubious republican talking point since Nixon bragged about Peace with Honor).

Cantor must never watch recordings of himself because if he did his pathetic bleating on the Sunday talk shows about the democrats being spawns of Satan for supporting the crowds of unwashed poor people currently occupying every major city in America should be enough to embarrass him mute.  His bumbling attempt to respond when Chris Wallace – of all people – called him out, asking where the republican jobs plan has been incubating was in itself enough to drive a more conscious person into retrospection and thoughtful reconsideration of one’s position on the major issue of the day. 

Kudos to Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida for saying out loud what has become increasingly clear to anyone paying attention; the republicans don’t have a coherent jobs plan, nor do they give a shit about one.  Their primary goal in 2012 is to make sure Obama isn’t re-elected.  If a few million Americans have to suffer for a couple of years to get that accomplished, well that just adds a bit of dramatic emphasis to their central argument – that Obama is a socialist negro Robin Hood and if they have to burn Sherwood Forest to the fucking ground, he’s going down.  Having a jobs plan would mean that the corporate sponsors of the party would have to reduce profits and repatriate jobs here by investing some of the bags of cash they have heretofore been saving for that little place in the Hamptons. 

Dovetailing ironically with this most recent blast of ill-considered vitriol towards the unemployed and angry demonstrators was the report detailing the fundraising efforts of the various candidates and Obama – subtitled, “How to Rake Jack”.  Obama the Evil has somehow managed to convince enough contributors to haul in about 45 million – the source of which is a worthwhile topic for another day – and has another 25 million from the democratic party so he’s sitting pretty.  What was interesting was the tally of the 10 Little Indians running against him, particularly the front runners.

{ Neither of the top fundraisers in the Republican primary have a broad base of support from small donors. Romney raised $1.9 million from donors giving less than $200, 13 percent of his total. Perry raised only $698,820 from small donors, which was 6 percent of his total, the lowest percentage of all the Republican candidates. } (Huffington Post)  In other words, they are corporate water boys to the core, representing the interests of the few at the expense of the many - same as it ever was.

In another unintentional bit of comedic irony, Rick “Shut up, Anita” Perry also revealed his own jobs plan, modeled on his successful formula in Texas.  Unfortunately he had to revise the first draft after his advisers informed him there weren’t enough gardening and dishwashing jobs to employ all 14 million people currently unemployed.  So he fell back on what little he knows best – servicing the energy industry.  His plan calls for drilling in Alaska and off our coasts and punching holes in every back yard across the country looking for buried pirate treasure...er, natural gas, a virtual Christmas list for the corporate bosses that keep him in good scotch and a list to make McCain and Palin light up with pride.  Shill baby, shill...

The fact is that every republican economic policy shibboleth of the last decade – from trickle down to tax cuts to deregulation of the financial industry - has, not only not worked, it has been a complete disaster.  And somehow the only thing they can think of to propose is more of the same only say it louder and blame the black guy.  Oh, and in the case of Bachman and Perry and some of the other deeply disturbed purveyors of old testament political ideology, pray.  Good luck with that...

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