John Boner, Eric “Boy Wonder” Cantor and the rest of the republican House tea-heads yesterday rejected an 89-10 Senate compromise on extending the pay roll tax holiday, an extension of unemployment benefits and medicare payments and in doing so looked like nothing so much as the 6 year old amped up on sugar throwing a tantrum at the mall. They want what they want even if it ends up hurting everyone around them. Now Boner can stand sad-faced in front of a cluster of microphones and act as if he and his frothing band of knuckleheads are the really responsible ones and they just want to finish their work like good boys and girls so they can all go home and sing carols around the fire with a clear conscience.
It was funny yesterday to hear Eric Cantor on the floor of the house exhorting his enthusiastic tea party friends in a high-pitched squeal that sounded like the pimple-faced 15 year old president of the robotics club giving his first speech at a high school assembly. You could practically hear him verbally pushing his taped-up glasses back onto the bridge of his nose in triumph, like Robert Caradine in Revenge of the Nerds. But the reality seems to be that Boner has lost control of the unruly children again and had to try to put the best face on a move that even the Wall Street Journal characterizes as putting the gun to your own head, spinning the chamber and hoping for the best when you pull the trigger.
And once again we cringe at the sight of Obama in front of the cameras looking like the world-weary assistant principal who would really like to lock the bastards in the basement with that one crazy janitor and not let them out until February. For once I would love to have him drop the overly-patient, dutiful negotiator pose and get pissed off and tell them what time it is. This is a golden opportunity. There are people in the senate who are pissed – republicans – who probably feel like they went out onto the skinny branches on the assumption that regardless of how they ultimately feel about the efficacy of the policy itself, it was politically the right move. It’s Christmas…And from the sound of it, Boner led them to believe that the House would go along and every one could air-kiss under the mistletoe and go home for some drinks. Instead they end up looking like Boner’s Chumps and adding a few oil-soaked Yule logs to the fire of voter contempt for the whole lot of them. Smooth move, John.
How hard is it to go on TV and say, “The republican House is insisting that we add provisions to the bill that would require the unemployed to be drug tested, that exempted some of the worst polluters in the country from Clean Air Act regulations, and jams pay cuts for government employees down Congress’ throats, all while continuing to defend the privileges of the “job creators”, to use Boner’s absurd description? Why can’t Obama simply lay it out and say,” Is that what you want?” Instead we end up in a thicket of obfuscation and pink-tie double talk with Obama and the utterly uninspiring Harry Reid lamely parroting the same tired talking points – “fair share” and my favorite go-to phrase, “the right thing for the American people”, as if someone might think they’re talking about Canadians.
The fact is, the republicans can’t offer a single sensible reason why they aren’t on board to extend the status quo for a couple of months and give sensible people on both sides time to hammer out something more permanent. It’s laughable to hear them trying to bury the tree in tinsel so no one can see that it’s half dead. Hey, take the god damn thing out onto the front lawn and set it on fire. No, instead we get video of Reid looking like someone just woke him up, dusted him off and said, “Over there Mr. Havecamp…” I swear to god, between him and Pelosi it’s hard to understand how they ever get anyone to do their dry cleaning, let alone aggressively push their agenda through the flaming snake pit that is the current congress. They need to lay off the valium for a few days.
It was good that the WSJ chose to highlight again McConnell’s statement that his primary goal in congress was to see to it that Obama was not re-elected when it offered up its criticism of this ridiculous semi-filibuster – it’s important that voters remember that treasonous pledge. Nothing explains Obama’s difficulty in getting anything accomplished more succinctly than that. Sure, he’s been a more of a pussy than I expected and hoped for and much of his flailing around can be laid squarely on his own loafers. But this tawdry little episode should be enough for any wavering Obama voters to recognize the fundamental obstructionism rampant in Washington for the last two years – the petty, “Nyah, nyah, na nyah na”, childishness that permeates even the simplest and least controversial attempts to move forward. These guys would filibuster a change in the House cafeteria hours if it was something the democrats wanted.
So John, thanks for that. You and Eric and Bitch McConnell are becoming invaluable to the Obama re-election campaign. Now if Santa will just bring you some new ties…
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