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This blog is political satire and the opinion of one lonely dog at the back fence. Nothing written in this blog is to be taken seriously until tomorrow at the earliest. At that time you may consider taking the previous days' blog seriously if you choose, however careful consideration should be given to this decision as it is, after all, serious.



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Friday, December 9, 2011

“...patient and persistent lying is the only path to the presidency.” Or, Shit Politicians Say...

Which brings us to Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove, minister of propaganda for the noxious right wing power elites who prefer to remain in the political shadows but love the shameless little Pekinese doing their dirty work for them.   The Barking Labrador would like to power hump the little bitch until it wets itself...but I digress...Poor Karl is still feverishly trying to psychically get back at all the jocks who pushed him into lockers and gave him wedgies in junior high school by demonstrating what a devious prick he can be.

How is it that this little insect can be trotted out by the media and treated as the grand high exalted wizard of campaign strategy when all he has ever done is lie and cheat and lie some more?  The latest example is the ads reflecting the hard-on he has about Elizabeth Warren, a democrat who is running for the senate in New Jersey.   Even though her opponent, republican Scott Brown, has the enthusiastic backing of the K Street hyenas and the big money on Wall Street, she is pulling away from him in the polls and Roves hysterical and repugnant ads against her must be seen as a measure of both their desperation to try to protect the seat and, by extension, rotund republican golden boy, Governor Chris Christie, and the extent to which Brown is seen as a tool. 

Rove's Super PAC, Crossroads GPS, (which I believe stands for Gaseous Pompous Scum), has been running an ad which brazenly misrepresents Ms Warren in too many ways to enumerate; to wit:  Crossroads GPS attacked Warren, a professor at Harvard Law School who has long advocated for financial reforms, last month for being too close to the Occupy Wall Street movement, directly contradicting the group's most recent ad suggesting that she is too close to Wall Street.”  (Huffington Post)

Apparently Turb Blossom is relying on the short attention span of low information voters – or maybe hoping subliminal messages really do work – in order to get away with something this blatantly...well, not only false, but incoherent.   The best part is the carpet bombing strategy has not only not damaged Ms Warren; it has served to raise her name recognition and probably helped her polling numbers. Good work, Karl.  

Karl has also been seen lately throwing bombs at Romney, most likely because Romney personifies the good looking cool guy who got all the chicks while Karl was left in his room with an old copy of Cosmopolitan for a companion.  Bitterness is not becoming, Karl.  But the best and funniest throw down of the week has been between Karl and super-massive black hole, Donald Trump, and his combination game show / debate scheduled for a couple of days after Christmas.  Rove thinks – and rightly so – that it is nothing but an ego-driven freak show created by The Donald so he can get his surly mug in front of the TV cameras just a little more – as if the American political process will wither if not for his sage counsel. 

Trump is currently lashing out at Rove, as he is wont to do to anyone who has the audacity to defy him.  The two of them verbally sparring is like watching a mud-wrestling match between two fat guys; disturbing and nightmarish but fascinating all the same.

But Trump is also swinging wildly at those candidates who clearly see this as a ridiculous idea with no good outcome and every possibility of it being a sucking wound where everyone loses their dignity except Trump, who has none.  (Is it my eye sight or has he taken to combing his eyebrows up into a pompadour / comb- over?)  He has taken every opportunity – and, sadly, there are a lot of them – to slam those who have declined his invitation, while at the same time inflating his importance to the nation at large to hilarious extremes.  It’s like he’s the Bullwinkle balloon in the Macys Thanksgiving Day parade.

Even the hopelessly crazy Michele Bachman turned him down, whereupon he went national with a helping of self-serving blather about how she had come crawling to him for wisdom and advice and now she was pissing on his shoes.  Bitch...

"Trump said Thursday that Romney lacked the "courage" to participate in the debate. 'I'm disappointed that he didn't seem to -- I don't want to use the word courage -- but he didn't seem to have the courage to do the debate,' he said on CNN.”  Geez, Mr. Trump – you don’t want to use the word but somehow it came out anyway.  You can’t go 30 seconds without saying something you think is flattering about yourself or dissing someone for not recognizing how great you are.  I really hope you decide to take the plunge and run yourself; I think a good strong dose of humiliation would be good for you. 

Finally, in keeping with the theme of this post, we have another hilarious blast of amplified hyperbole from wanna-be porn star, Anne Coulter, who seems obsessed with sexuality in general and homosexuality specifically.   For some reason she offered some fresh raw meat to the right wing recently; “she believes 'liberal yuppies' will start aborting their unborn gay children once scientists discover a gene for homosexuality.”- this from someone who inexplicably refers to herself as the “Judy Garland of the right wing”.  What the hell does that mean?  Does she hallucinate about Munchkins having gay sex with Marcus Bachman?  Does she know that Garland is a gay icon?  Is all that crossing and uncrossing of her legs whenever she’s interviewed some kind of “lipstick lesbian” signal...?  Thankfully for Michele Bachman, Coulter kindly concludes that Marcus isn’t gay, “just effete”.  Gosh, I’ll be that makes Michele want to go right home and jump on the poor guy and ride him like the wrath of god...(*shudder...*)

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