"Oh lord, give me the wisdom to...Oh, never mind..."

I had intended to finish writing today about the religious beliefs and proclamations of the two remaining top contenders for the republican nomination, Newt “the Nutty Professor” Gingrich and Mitt “Does my hair look OK?” Romney.  After giving it considerable thought, however, it has become clear to me that neither of these men - who on numerous occasions have testified to their personal relationship with Jesus or the lord or the savior or Joseph Smith or whatever biblical figure was most convenient - really believe what they say in any deep and meaningful way.  Bachman’s crazy but she really believes.  

On the other hand, it almost impossible to know what these guys believe.  Both of them have changed positions on other issues whenever it’ expedient or necessary politically, including on the very personal and religious question of a woman’s right to an abortion.  On virtually every major issue currently in play – the size of government, immigration, welfare, taxes and foreign policy – both Gingrich and Romney have flipped and flopped, twisted, equivocated, dissembled and muttered disjointedly under their breath until there is nothing at their core. 

Brash and falsely humble when discussing his “being saved by Christ”, Gingrich hides his derision with obfuscation and pseudo-intellectual arrogance in conversation about the social issues of the day such that his proclamation of faith rings true.  But putting poor 12 year olds to work sweeping floors in schools so that they can learn self reliance is not just morally wrong, it’s stupid.   

Romney, on the other hand, is equally disingenuous about the major issues of the day but much less flashy regarding his religion.  When pressed he will dutifully recite his faithfulness and devotion and almost shyly – if pressed – talk about his personal savior and relationship with the lord, blah, blah, blah, but enthusiasm is notably absent.   It’s just another thing that he has to pretend to care about.  His patrician looking-down-his-nose demeanor is eerily reminiscent of the Bush crime family and we all know how much the Bushes lived the new testament.  George the Elder couldn't be bothered with religion - the closest he came was when he thanked god that his daddy and grandad were filthy-ass rich.  And George the Dull went from being first in line for the fraternity gang bangs to finding Jesus as his personal savior, a miracle that coincided with his running for political office in the south.  

So to hell with both of them.   Hopefully the low information republican primary voters who still actually care about their religion will see through them both and vote their conscience.   Of course, that begs the question, who would they then prefer?  But I am content to wait and see.  In other news items today…

Very quietly on Thursday the republican controlled house of representatives passed a bill to end public financing of presidential campaigns, a position that fits neatly with the anti-democratic Citizens United case decided by the Supreme Court last year.   Originating after the plague of the Watergate scandal and the malicious and slimy reign of Dick Nixon, public financing was intended to try to democratize the process of running for president by making private money less prominent, a now quaint notion overwhelmed by the tidal wave of anonymous contributions enabled by Citizen’s United and orchestrated by the shifty and porcine character, Turd-Blossom Rove and the Nerd Prince scaredy cat, Eric Cantor.  Even though it retains little practical value, it was symbolic that the republican house, at a time of continued national crisis, chose to take a swing at removing the last vestiges of honor and ethical behavior while they have the chance.  

In Egypt, election results due to be finalized today are expected to result in Islamist political parties taking a large majority of the seats in the new parliament and setting up a power struggle with the military establishment now governing by default.  It is also widely presumed that the long time ally of the US will modify its foreign policy, particularly as it pertains to Israel and the Palestinians and will present new challenges to the Obama administration in resolving the Palestinian issue.  It is the latest example of “be careful what you wish for”, as spreading democracy amongst societies fundamentally unlike ours is likely to result in duly elected governments also unlike ours.

Meanwhile at the republican foreign policy debate recently, the doofus patrol spent the entire time in a dick measuring contest over the middle east that was almost won by Michele Bachman, (which would have thrown the standard party platform plank regarding gay rights into disarray).  The complexity of the situation is clearly above their pay grade and my guess would be that, as a group, they would be tongue tied and discombobulated if they were in a position to have to react to this development, and any reasonable long term strategy would be accidental.  Newly minted non-Romney front runner, the Nutty Professor, called the administration’s middle east policy a “grotesque failure”, and had to be reminded that they were past the biographical section of the debate and everything wasn’t about him.   Never one to miss an opportunity to pander, Newt also chose to further his criticism of Obama’s reaction to the Middle East Spring by lamenting that it was really an “anti-Christian Spring”, a vivid example of the old aphorism about the forest and the trees.  In a region that is 90-whatever percent Muslim, how does it surprise him that the uprising ignored his favorite bible stories?

I am going to try to enjoy the Christmas season now that it is finally upon us; the love of children and my beautiful partner, the lights in the neighborhood, Toys for Tots, Second Harvest Food Bank, a Chanticleer concert at the Stanford chapel, the joy of giving and the general good fellowship.  Then I will wait anxiously for the Iowa primary so that some of these clowns now embarrassing themselves and befouling the air with their muddled and misguided gibberish are sent into the long winter night of political exile.  That would be my Christmas wish come true…well, that and that BB gun…